


You Are Strong

by FylaarisQ



Series: Fragments of Arcadia [1]
Category: Bad Moon Rising - Tales From the Grim (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Artists, Autism, Gen, No Sex, No Smut, Panic Attacks, Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:55:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 26,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22036675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FylaarisQ/pseuds/FylaarisQ
Summary: The story follows MatteBat's Urban Shadows campaign character Evangeline as she deals with her anxiety and depression throughout her normal every day life. It takes place in alternate universe than the Bad Moon Rising campaign.It's meant to accurately portray some types of anxiety attacks and let those with anxiety know that someone understands them. It's also meant to try and enlighten those who don't understand what an anxiety attack is like to help them understand what it is people like us go through.The Bad Moon Rising campaign can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Rjri3cHTPU&list=PLOX7OTEsWAb7E32-X4RNFxUeEBv-ol5-fThis is a part of the Fragments of Arcadia series.
Series: Fragments of Arcadia [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1586185





	1. Preface

Living with anxiety is rough. That’s all there is to it. It’s something that I live with and a lot of my friends live with.  
It always feels like people don’t truly understand what it’s like to live with anxiety so I created this series of stories to try and convey those feelings. Describing anxiety is hard. I’ve even given myself a couple anxiety attacks just trying to write this.  
These are not stories with an overarching plot. There will not be a deus ex machina at the end where the character is suddenly freed from anxiety. That is not this.This is about a person who is managing their anxiety. Anxiety is not a character flaw that is corrected through character development or a character arch. It’s real and it stays. Learning to overcome it is important, but learning to overcome does not mean it goes away like I’ve seen so many times.  
I just want people to know what anxiety is like, and I want those suffering to know that they are strong. They will have bad days, they will have good days but they will survive. They are strong. There are others going through the same thing and they’re not alone.  
The stories will also dip into depression as well. Anxiety and depression are different but are often found accompanying each other. The effects are easy to confuse and some overlap.  
These stories are meant to be windows for those who don’t suffer to understand those that do, and for those that suffer to find solace that someone knows and understands their plight.  
A huge thank you goes out to Matte Bat though. Evangeline is actually Matte Bat’s original character for an urban shadows campaign called Bad Moon Rising. This takes place in an AU of the campaign and Theo is also a creation of the campaign and Matte Bat. Check out the campaign on the TalesFromTheGrim Youtube channel. So huge thanks and shoutouts there.  
Well, that’s long enough. I hope that these stories serve to help those who don’t suffer from anxiety understand what those of that do go through. And for those of you who read these that do have anxiety, I hope it shows you that there is always tomorrow. You’ll get through this, you’re strong.


	2. A Bad Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evangeline has a bad day, which highlights the struggles of anxiety.

I.

It was one of those days.  
Evangeline was late to work, didn’t have time to do her hair and most importantly couldn’t find the strength to move.

She was dressed but staring into her mirror. She didn’t know why she decided to look in the mirror. Well she did, it was try and fix her hair a little before work but she knew better than to try on these days.

“You’re not good enough.”  
“Those people aren’t going to miss you. They don’t care about you.”  
“They don’t want to see you, who would? Look at you”  
“You look even worse than normal today.”  
“You don’t deserve today.”

Her anxiety and depression decided today was the day. It’s hard to find motivation to do anything, much less go to work when you’re your own worst enemy.  
Evangeline just sat there and stared. She wasn’t even really looking at the mirror or herself or if she was, she didn’t know it. It certainly didn’t register if she was. 

She existed. Unmoving, unmotivated and the overarching dread of already being late kept her trapped where she was. She was like an animal trying to escape a tar pit, futile.  
But she knew that on days like this, it was more important than anything that she try to do something, anything.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She focused on the air filling her lungs and its release from her lips. She focused her dread into each breath, hoping that she could at least trick herself into thinking she was getting rid of it too.

It didn’t really work, but it didn’t have to. It just had to work enough for her to finish getting a brush through her long, frizzy cherry brown hair, grab her glasses, phone and keys and get out the door.  
Naturally, all those same emotions came flooding back as soon as she was outside in the city air, but that was the plan. She just had to keep on walking. The public library where she worked was only a couple blocks away, but that’s a lot longer when you’re on the verge of an anxiety attack on the way there.

“They’re starting at you.”  
“They’re talking about you after you walk by.”  
“They’re disgusted by you.”

As the intrusive thoughts increased so did her walking speed. The whole sidewalk and everyone on it become so big, so distracting, so loud and so overwhelming.  
“Just keep walking,” she thought to herself as her palms started sweating.   
She felt her hands shaking as she reached the steps of what was supposed to be her safe haven. It was a nice quiet place that let her read all the books she wanted and didn’t overwhelm her anxiety. However, days like these were different. The library also left her alone with herself on days like this.

The first one to notice her when she walked in was Sheila, the library’s director. She noticed Evangeline’s shaky hands, the cold sweat, the distant eyes and it was an unspoken understanding.

When Evangeline first started working, Sheila didn’t really understand what she was going through. However, over the last year, the library had served as the meeting place for parents of children on the spectrum and a safe place for those with anxiety.

Through these interactions, Sheila had been slowly learning how different people see the world and how it can be so overwhelming to some people.   
Sheila started her day with a cup of coffee and never stopped moving until she clocked out for the day. Whether it was grant writing, coordinating events for the library or using the bookmobile to create popup libraries, she was always doing something. She was always talking, always meeting new people, always doing something.

Even Sheila became overwhelmed at times and it was that feeling that she always equated to Evangeline. Sheila always imagined what it would be like to just suddenly feel that way for no reason or at a hair trigger. She couldn’t imagine having to live life with the weight of the world constantly crushing you under it. That’s why the more she learned, the more she respected Evangeline. 

Sheila knew that Evangeline had just gone through her own personal hell. Her approach of Evangeline was one of kindness, one of experience.

“Eva, you’re at the library,” Sheila said softy. “You’re safe.”

Evangeline still had the distant look in her eyes and didn’t respond at all. Sheila kept talking to her in a soft, caring tone. She didn’t want to overwhelm Evangeline with touch in this state.

“You’re safe here,” Sheila said. “It will pass. This isn’t permanent. We’ll take care of you here. You’re going to be fine Eva. You’re going to be fine. We’re here.”

The color in Evangeline’s face started to return as a slow nod let Sheila know that she was heard. Sheila gently embraced Evangeline in a hug to let her know she was cared for and reinforce a sense of protection.

“Would you like some water?” Sheila asked.

Again, Evangeline nodded. Sheila led her to her station behind the counter and sat her down. She helped her get her desk tidy and gave her a bottle of water. Every little thing counted when helping Evangeline her with anxiety attack and she knew it. Sheila stayed with Evangeline until felt comfortable and then went back to her work.

“She doesn’t care, it’s all pity.”  
“She only keeps you around because she feels bad for you.”  
“You disappointed her again.”  
“Late. Again. She’ll only take so—”

Evangeline slammed her book closed. Sometimes physical action helped rid the thoughts if only for a while. She had to focus. This was her job. But that didn’t stop the nagging feeling of returning. This was the second time this week that she had been late and come in during an anxiety attack.

“What if I am disappointing Sheila?”  
“What if they don’t want me here?”  
“What if I am a burden?”

The question kept nagging at her like a little kid tugging its mother’s shirt. She knew the answer to all of these questions, but that didn’t stop them from feeling real. That didn’t stop them from ever feeling like they weren’t warranted. Evangeline knew and didn’t know why she kept asking herself these questions. She wanted to stop asking, but she couldn’t. It was one of those days.

“Scan the book, stamp it and put it in the returned pile,” she said to distract herself. “Scan, stamp, return. Scan, stamp, return. Scan, stamp, return. Scan, stamp, return. Scan, stamp, return. Scan, stamp, return. Scan, stamp, return. Scan, stamp, return. Scan, stamp return. Scan, stamp, return. Scan, stamp, return. Scan, stamp re—”

THUD

Evangeline panicked. She looked up to see a man wanting to return books, but she couldn’t understand him. His lips moved but the sound was muffled like she had headphones on. The world started to shift and tunnel. She was seeing things through a fisheye lens and the sides were closing in. Each movement of her head felt like a millennia and everything seemed to have motion blur on it. Her chest felt trapped, her heart wrapped in chains. The library suddenly became a trap. One that she couldn’t escape. She felt crushed at every angle.

She ran.  
“Eva, you’re okay,” she could hear from the stall in the bathroom as every sense went wild. Every sound, every touch, it felt amplified. It felt new. It felt terrifying.

It’s a feeling she’s known and felt for so long over her life, but it never gets easier. She could feel the air enter and leave her body as she hyperventilated. It made her feel like there was no air to breathe. Like she was drowning on land. 

“Eva, it will pass. You’re safe.”

The rush of cool across her head as the sweat poured and the body clammed. The lack of strength in her shaking legs and hands. The vulnerability of everything. 

“Eva you’re safe.”

It was coming through a little more clearly now, her breathing was stabilizing.

“I’m here.”

She was there. She was always there when this happened.

“It’s safe here.”

It WAS safe. 

“Eva, you’ll get through this.”

Evangeline had gotten through every attack in her life, but each attack always seemed so close and yet so far. Each one felt like a life-threatening event. 

“We’re here for you.”

The staff was there to support Evangeline and she knew it. However, when your brain overloaded, logic is the first thing to go.

“We’ll be here when you’re ready.”

Evangeline knew they would be. Attacks last different lengths but the staff was learning this too. They knew each attack was different.

“Open the door when you’re ready.”

The stall door opened. There sat Evangeline, shaking. Tears streaming down her cheeks, large round glasses on the floor of the stall, her cherry hair had come out of her usual messy bun and had fallen down to cover part of her face, sticking to where tears had dried earlier. She was a mess.

“Oh, Eva,” Sheila said in a tone only a mother can muster. “Let’s get you back to you”

Sheila wiped away her tears with the sleeve of her sweater and picked up Evaneglines’ glasses.

“C’mon strong girl, you got this,” Sheila said as she helped Evangeline up. Her legs were still weak so Sheila let her use her as a crutch, at least to get to the sink. Evangeline leaned against it as Sheila wetted some of the paper towels and started cleaning her face.

For the first time in a long time, Evangeline was happy that she didn’t wear mascara. Some things just end up working out. 

“Now bend your head so I can fix this,” Sheila said. Evangeline did as she said and waited for Sheila to finish fixing her hair. Sheila always made the neatest hair buns. Evangeline’s were always messy. She felt the two strands of hair line either side of her face and that’s how she knew Sheila was done. Evangeline loved that hairstyle. The first time she ever wore it was at a time like this. Afterwords, she got Sheila to teach her how it was done.

“Now smile for me so you’re know you’re okay,” Sheila said putting her glasses back on. Evangeline cracked a small smile. It wasn’t much but it made the beauty mark move. 

When Sheila and Evangeline were first learning to deal with the attacks at work, Sheila would always make her smile afterwards. She said it was to make sure that Evangeline always remembered how to smile. Evangeline on the other hand, was never really in a smiling mood after an attack. So Sheila made a deal with her, she only had to smile enough to make her beauty mark move. It was located just above her lip and below the corner of her nose on the left side of her face.

Evangeline had grown to appreciate the tradition. 

The two exited the bathroom, Evangeline still shaky but managing to walk of her own power. Then she looked for a clock. She knew that was the one thing that she wasn’t supposed to do, but she always wanted to know how long she had been away. To her dismay, she noticed that a few hours had passed since she last checked the clock.

“I’m sorry, I was in there so long,” Evangeline said quietly.

Sheila looked confused.

“There’s nothing to apologize for,” Sheila said. “I know you can’t help having them. They just happen. You’re okay.”

Evangeline thought Sheila was being nice, but when she got back to the desk, she noticed the same man was still at the desk. Krissty was helping him with his last book. Evangeline knew that her panic attack had lasted forever, but how was he still here?

“Are you okay to take over again?” Krissty asked, breaking Evangeline out of her daze.

“Yeah. I—I think I can do it,” Evageline replied.

Krissty just nodded and let Evangeline take her seat at the main circulation desk back. 

She looked out across the library. People were walking down the aisles between bookshelves, others were trying to figure out if they wanted the book, some were using the computers for a variety of things, the high schoolers were in the back studying with headphones and some people were just sitting. It was quiet. It was quaint. It was back to normal. That was the most important and comforting part, normal.

She reached for her next book to log in the returned pile but there was nothing to grab. She looked and realized she had already been through all her books. Those hours did pass, but while she was returning books. It was a relief to know that she didn’t spend the shift in the bathroom.

The rest of the day went by without a hitch. The thoughts stayed but they were lessened after the panic attack. It was like getting everything out of her system. 

When she got home, she put some leftovers in the microwave and checked her calendar. She knew tonight was a mental health night. She was going to relax and try and recenter herself for tomorrow. A nice do nothing day awaited her the next day as well. It would be nice to do nothing after this day.

She smiled as she saw the note she left for herself on the calendar.

“Remember, even if you feel like you did nothing, fighting yourself is something. You are strong, you will win.”


	3. Shelves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evangeline is disturbed while restocking the shelves, which induces a panic attack.

II.

Today was a slow day. The pitter-patter of children walking around the library, the sound of the a/c roaring in the summer heat, the clacks of fingers hitting keyboards and the creaking of the old chairs filled the library. These were the days Evangeline loved. No overwhelming noises, just a comforting white noise of the calm library. These were the days in which she could do all her work and still have time to sketch the scene of the library.

Art was always a first love of hers. It allows her to talk without words, show without explaining and most importantly, it made her feel calm. Each brush stroke or pencil line served as a nice ocean wave relaxing her body. Each charcoal smudge was like playing in the sand. When she focused on art, her mind didn’t wander, it stayed. It focused. That focus would give her reprieve from those thoughts that’d fill her head. It’d give her an escape from all of it which—even for just a short time—was always a welcomed break.

Evangeline flipped to an unfinished sketch and tried to figure out where she left off. Her latest library sketch was just that off of the main lobby area from the view of the front desk. She had already drawn the lounge area at the left of the lobby, near the door but on the front desk side of the lobby. Two older style chairs like ones you’d find in an old-fashioned study lined both walls. There was a table with more modern but comfortable black chairs in the middle with a rack of magazines and local newspapers. 

This area is where a lot of the older patrons would sit with their coffee and read. There was a weekly and a three-day paper on the area. One published on Wednesdays and the other published on Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays. There were always a few patrons that Evangeline knew would show up on those days just to read the papers. In her sketch, she actually had a group of three sitting at the table, coffee on the table and each with a newspaper in their hands. It filled the sketch with a bit of life, but she mostly drew it because of how homely it felt to her. It reminded her of mornings with her family when she was younger.

Across the aisle from this area was the vault. It was flanked by bookshelves on either side but it was fun to get to draw a giant vault door. It looked like one out of a cartoon and it added to the library’s charm, especially with the younger kids. They would talk about what was actually hidden inside the vault. Some of those conversations were quite interesting. Ideas ranged from gold bars to unicorns to the doorway to a mystical land. Evangeline chuckled remembering all these cute and precious conversations.

Beside the vault started the bookshelves. The nonfiction books were kept here since most of the kid’s stuff was upstairs. The nonfiction definitely wasn’t a best-renter as far as books went, but there were certain regulars who were always looking for a new book. It also made sense to have the books near the newspapers and magazines.

These kept going until they reached the middle column of the library. This column was what Evangeline stared at every day. It was actually the elevator and its shaft. It didn’t stop it from looking like a big, gaudy column that broke up the flow of the library. On the other side of the column started the how-to books. This was where Evangeline needed to pick up her sketch. She finished the column a few days ago.

So with the shelves of these books she would start. She hoped. Evangeline started looking through her purse to see if she remembered to pack her sketch pencils. More times than she could count, she remembered one only to forget the other. Today, however, was her lucky day as she remembered to bring it. Though, about 10 minutes into the sketch Krissty would bring her some books that needed to be put back on the shelves. Naturally, they were how-to books in regards to art.

Looking at the top one, it was a how-to for point perspective. A beginner’s book but it seemed like a good enough tool to learn how. Evangeline put in her earbuds and started listening to music as she started putting away these books. This work wasn’t glamorous, but it was sometimes relaxing. She hated restocked the nonfiction because no one would put their books back in the right order so she would end up having to rearrange rows. Here, everything was in order for the most part. 

Evangeline had no idea how long he had been standing there, but she looked over and saw a young man. He had a short blowout with tapered sides with hair as black as night. She could see his smokey gray eyes through the lens of his John Lennon style glasses. He had a sharp face with a jawline that looked like it was groomed to always be five o clock. He was wearing a deep gun metal gray v-neck shirt with a dark gray vest and unbuttoned black blazer. He had on black denim jeans and converses to finish the outfit.

However, none of that mattered. This man had entered her space and she didn’t know. He was standing there confident like he knew who she was and Evangeline had never seen his face before. Her heart started to race and her breathing became heavy. She could see his lips moving but she couldn’t hear what he said.  
“Who is he?”  
“Why is he here?”  
“What does he want?”  
“Has he been stalking me?”  
“What is he planning?”  
“Is anyone nearby?”  
“Is this it for me?”  
The questions kept coming as the fear kept rising. She didn’t have her keys in her hand and he was blocking her way out of the aisle. He was smiling, it didn’t seem malicious but who was he? He looked like he was waiting on an answer.  
“Did he ask something?”  
“Did I mess up?”  
“Is he waiting on me to answer?”  
He looked at her confused, which just made Evangeline start to feel crushed. He looked like he was laughing as he motioned for her to take out her earbuds. She did with a shaky hand, something he didn’t seem to notice.  
“I’m sorry, I didn’t see your earbuds in,” he said in a slight drawl. “Do you draw?”  
“I-I-I-well, w-why?” Evangeline asked.  
“Well you have a pile of artbooks in your hand,” he said.  
“Well, I work here,” Evangeline said. “I’m just restocking shelves.”  
She was trying to look for a way out, a way around him. Someone, somewhere to get her out of this situation with this person. She hated this and right now she hated him. The light headedness had started, it felt a bit like everything had shifted off its axis.  
“I was just interested because I paint myself,” he said. “I have my own studio in fact. It’s more of a room in my apartment that I turned into a studio but it still counts. It’s got the hardwood floors and everything.”  
“I’m s-sorry but—”  
“Oh yes, I do apologize, I’m Julius.” he said cutting her off. “It is rude of me not to introduce myself, and you are?”  
“E-Evangeline”  
She was feeling dizzy, but as long as he was talking, that’s all he was doing. She just wanted out and away from him. She didn’t care how, she just wanted out.  
“Well do you draw? Maybe paint?” he asked obviously looking her over.  
“I d-dabble, in many mediums,” she said, her voice starting to shake and a bit low.  
“Well, would you recommend any of these books?” He asked pointing to the stacked books that were sitting on the shelf.  
“I haven’t read any of them.”  
“Even though you’re an artist and work at the library?” He asked incredulously.   
“I-um-”  
“Let me guess, you take classes?” He asked cutting her off again.  
She just nodded, her legs started feeling weak at this point.  
“I did,” He said. “I graduated, but I don’t remember seeing you at the university.”  
“Well—”  
At this point, her eyes caught Krissty’s. Krissty was coming to see if Evangeline had finished stocking the books yet. Krissty knew by the look in Evangeline’s eyes that she was having a panic attack and she really did not want to be talking to this person who was taking up most of the aisle.  
“Evangeline, stop what you’re doing we need you in the back immediately,” Krissty said. “We need help unpacking some boxes of books and materials for summer reading.”  
“I have to go.” Evangeline said.   
“Hey, we can continue this—”  
The rest of his sentence cut off as she raced towards the back office of the library. She left the books right on the shelves, laying down. They didn’t matter anymore. All that mattered was safety and that safety was Shelia’s office.  
Evangeline burst the door of Shelia’s office. She was hyperventilating, she was shaking and she was crying. Evangeline less sat down at Shelia’s desk and more fell into her chair as her legs gave out. She felt trapped. She felt the world spinning. She just wanted it to stop.  
“Eva, you’re going to be alright,” Shelia’s voice cut through it all. That warm and almost motherly voice. “It’s going to be fine. It will pass.”  
She didn’t know how long it actually took Shelia to get there, but it felt like ages. Everything felt like ages. With Shelia’s help, she managed to calm down and explain the situation. Shelia told her that she could stay in the back the rest of the day. She understood that Evangeline didn’t want see this person; Shelia wouldn’t either after that.  
So Evangeline worked in the back, organizing things. Occasionally she would walk to the door and look out the window to see if Julius was still around. He was. Every time she saw him, she hurried back to work.   
“He’ll leave eventually.”  
Eventually turned out to be closing. Shelia explained that she had talked to Julius and he specifically asked for Evangeline.  
“He said he wanted to invite you to his studio to paint,” Shelia said. “He described you as the cute shy one who had trouble talking with other people.”  
Even though it was only a few blocks to her apartment, Evangeline asked Shelia for a ride home. Shelia gladly gave it. She knew why Evangeline wanted a ride, and she was going to offer if Evangeline didn’t ask.   
Evangeline didn’t bother with a shower when she got back. She threw off her clothes and herself onto the bed.  
“Remember, even if you feel like you did nothing, fighting yourself is something. You are strong, you will win.”


	4. Her Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mental Health days are important and so Evangeline takes one. She deserves it.

III.

Today was the day. It was it. Evangeline woke up, her cherry brown hair falling in her face, but that didn’t matter. Today was the day. She hurriedly but clumsily made her way around her apartment to the bathroom. She didn’t have her glasses on because she wanted to take a shower and putting her glasses on meant finding her glasses.

She knew exactly where they were on her bedside table, but laziness always won over logic when it came to showering in the morning. It was a lesson that she and her apartment learned every time. Today’s battle scars were a stubbed toe, a knocked over chair which totally wasn’t where she left it yesterday and her pride. One day she’d remember to grab her glasses before her shower, or not.

She turned on the shower and waited for it to warm it.  
“Today is the day!” she happily sung dancing around the bathroom. “Today is my day. And I can’t waaaaaaaaaait”  
After the shower had shushed her and her singing long enough, she decided to check the water and then got in.

Hot showers were one of her favorite things in the world. As the warm water ran down her face and body, she could feel every muscle loosening, every joint popping and every breath like a vapor treatment cleaning out her lungs. She always loved her showers. It was the only time she really felt like this; relaxed. It was such a lovely feeling. Every drop of water washing away her anxiety and thoughts even if it was just a temporary relief. This was her solace.

Afterwards, she washed and shampooed and conditioned her hair. She was ever thankful to the inventor of no-frizz shampoo, whoever it was. It made it her life easier. She turned off the shower and got her towel. She went to the mirror and stopped.

She saw herself. She saw her wet, mop of a head that really looked more like a different colored Gossamer. She saw the bags under her eyes from her sleepless nights, thanks to those thoughts in her head. She saw her maya blue eyes no longer behind those large rims. She saw the way they sparkled when the light hit just right. She saw her nose; the thing that gave her the most worries. It was a little bigger than normal and little pointed, but she had learned to love on her good days.

Next was her beauty mark. Everyone’s eyes always seemed to go there first when they looked at her face. She was thankful for that since that meant people didn’t always look her in the eyes. Her lips weren’t particularly fine, but not very plump. They were sharp lips, with their natural shade today. Normally her top lip would have a dark, bold color with a paler shade of the color flanking it on the bottom. She smiled as she looked at herself.

“You must be a late return because you have fine written all over you,” she told herself in the mirror. That joke lasted all of about a second before Evangeline let out a deep belly laugh at herself. 

She backed up a bit to admire herself, but she started getting blurry in the mirror.

“I can’t look bad if I can’t see how I look,” She said laughing.

Normally it would take her an hour to blow-dry the entirety of her hair. She’d have to get the brush and spend a few minutes on each layer. Reaching that perfect temperature of hot enough to actually dry here but not hot enough to make her look like Ms. Frizzle was always a challenge. Today, however, she didn’t have to worry about that. She just put a brush through it and dried it a little. It was manageable but still damp. She brushed her teeth and started her trek back to her room.

The walk back to her room wasn’t as bad as the walk to the bathroom. After all, she had already hit all of the obstacles on the walk to the shower. Her glasses were the first thing she grabbed. Now she could actually see things without having to almost press her face against them.

“I can see,” she shouted, emulating a favorite cartoon of hers when she was a kid. “I can function!”

It was time to pick out her outfit for the day. She already knew what she wanted, her oversized “ISBN Thinkin’ Bout U” heart sweater. Her outfit for the day was complete. She had done it, and with that came a checkmark. The whiteboard beside her calendar was always filled with the same four things: get up, get showered, get dressed, eat. She could check off three of those. Evangeline had figured out that if she made a checklist of normal day things, it’d remind her to do them on her bad days. It also made her feel better about herself and showed her that every day, no matter how small, she accomplished something.

Food was the next item of business. Today was the day. Only the most special of delicacies could be had on this, the day of days. It was an arduous journey to her refrigerator. Evangeline had to bear the harsh, cold, depths of her freezer to reach the Shan-Gra-La: chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.

With her tub of ice cream and a spoon in hand, back to the soft, comfort of the bed she traveled. She turned in her quest with a big check by the “eat” on her to-do list. Her reward: the softest and fuzziest blanket in the land to wrap around herself. With her new armor equipped, she was ready.

Ice cream open, spoon in tub and maximum comfort, it was time. Time to watch her favorite Dungeons and Dragons and group on another adventure. Who would die? Who would live? All Evangeline knew was that she had rolled a nat 20 on devouring this ice cream and that today was the day.

Her mental health day.


	5. An Understanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An autism awareness event at the library leads Evangeline to find a new "friend."

IV.

Today was going to be an interesting day. The library was holding an “autism understanding” event. The goal behind the event was for parents with children with autism and those who want to know how to interact with people on the spectrum to find out more about how to do so. These events were always loud but comforting to Evangeline.

Normally, she didn’t like loud at the library—it IS a library after all. However, it always warmed her heart to see these people learning to help others. She always remembered how hard it was to describe to her coworkers what anxiety was like. Even trying to describe it could send her into another attack.

“But can’t you take medicine for it?” she remembered Sheila asking. Evangeline had to explain that the medicine wasn’t a be-all-end-all. The medicine just helped her relax and made it harder for her to become overwhelmed. It didn’t stop her from having them completely. Plus, the medicine is expensive, too expensive for Evangeline to consistently afford. It’s hard finding a job when you can get overwhelmed and just shut down essentially. This was her longest lasting job at a year and a half and even then, she almost got fired. 

None of the staff were ever mean to her about her anxiety, but they didn’t understand. There was no malice in their feelings towards getting rid of her. A library is a lot of work to keep up and keep stocked and having one person come in and then not be able to do there job until they calm down is tough. Evangeline knew this. They weren’t mad at her, they never were. They just wanted to keep the system.

Then these understanding classes started at the library. A parent-autism group approached the library about using it as a meeting space for talking about how to parent children on the spectrum. Seeing as the library also interacted with these children, Sheila happily accepted it. She felt it would help the community and the library learn about interacting interacting with the children.

At first, it was just the parents meeting about the struggles of parenting children on the spectrum. They were interesting discussions and it made the staff and Evangeline have a whole new appreciation for these parents. Then Sheila asked the parents about advice for how to deal with these children when they visit the library. That one question is what started everything.

The library started off with a special story time every month for children on the spectrum. After these were regularly attended, the very first “Understanding Autism” event was held. It was the day that really started to help the staff understanding these kids and even helped them understand Evangeline’s life.

The library was a bit chaotic on that day. Some children were running around, others were making loud noises and some were staying near their parents. Some of the children you could tell were on the spectrum and some you couldn’t. Either way, it was a still a joy in Evangeline’s heart to see them having fun. She thought they were some of the most courageous kids on the planet. 

When it came time for introductions, Krissty decided to play a game with the kids to try and get them to open up. It was called the introduction song. They started with a girl named Ramona.

“Hello, Ramona, Hello Ramona”  
“We love you. We love you.”  
“Thank you for coming, thank you for coming”  
“To play with us!”

At the ending portion every one would smile and laugh. The introduction song went around the circle until they got to boy named Aiden. The song went along as normal, but at the end Aiden got up and ran away when everyone laughed. Evangeline remembered it well because he ran behind the big desk and clutched onto the dress she was wearing.

While Evangeline wasn’t very happy that her new black and rose pink floral print dress was being pulled, she did notice that the boy was scared and let him stay there. A dress wasn’t worth causing this child anymore fear.

“Aiden, get back here,” a man who was obviously Aiden’s father said.

Aiden wouldn’t go though. He buried his face in Evangeline’s side and it broke her heart to see him like this. She knew what that was like.

“Aiden!” the man yelled a little louder, getting angrier. “Listen here boy, if you don’t come back right now, then we are leaving! I will come get you!”

Aiden only clutched Evangeline’s dress tighter when his father raised his voice.

The father started walking over towards Evangeline with a mean look on his face and that caused Evangeline to start to panic. She didn’t want to be in the middle of this. She couldn’t handle being in the middle of this. She started to hyperventilate, but before it could get any worse Diane spoke up.

She was the leader of the parent-autism group. She was hosting the event and obviously saw something wrong. She approached the father slowly.

“This is why we’re here today,” she said calmly. “The first thing a lot of parents have a hard time realizing is that there is a difference between defiance and overstimulation.”

“What’s the difference then?” the father asked curious. 

“To understand the difference you really need a behavioral specialist, but to put it in loose terms it’s where the actions stem from,” Diane said. “We would analyze why he was acting this way and try to address that problem. Sometimes it’s defiance and we would address why he would want to defy. Like for example, if we figured out he was being defiant for attention then you would just not give him the attention he’s seeking.”

The father nodded.

“However, it can also be overstimulation. It might not be that he doesn’t want to do what you say, it might be that he can’t. When a child’s brain become overstimulated, it essentially causes everything to shut down. There are too many signals from too many places being sent to his brain and his brain can’t comprehend them all at once.”

That was a feeling Evangeline knew too well. Her heart ached for this child. She couldn’t see it in his eyes but she could feel it in the way his hands were shaking while clutched to her dress. This feeling she understood. She softly patted his head.

“Aiden,” Diane said softly and calmly. “Aiden, it’s okay.”

She ever so gently rubbed his back.

Evangeline could feel his grip loosen. 

“Aiden, can you look at me?”

He slowly turned around but looked down.

“Aiden, did we overwhelm you? Was it too much? You can just nod your head.”

He nodded.  
“All right, we’ll be quiet for you. Won’t you please come back and play? Your friends want to see you.”

She reached out her hand and he grabbed her finger and let her lead him back to the group. The father’s expression changed from anger to one more of guilt. It was obvious he didn’t understand that’s what happened at first. That’s okay though, that’s what this event was for. Evangeline had learned something new too.

Diane put on a video that showed what a child who is overwhelmed or who has a severe case of autism might see walking down the street.

The camera was hyper focused forward with all the people and objects being blurry. They also had motion blur added to them. The sounds were louder and almost indistinguishable from each other; it was just one big noise. Each step made the camera shake. Evangeline felt a pit in her stomach.

This was familiar, all too familiar to her. She looked away because the realism made her start hyperventilating. Evangeline couldn’t believe that some children and people lived like this. It was like a worse version of her panic attacks except it was every day for some people. She always thought these people were courageous, but this just reinforced it. Having to live through that every day but still keeping a smile on their; still being a kid. It must be nearly impossible.

The rest of the event was productive. Everyone was eager to learn and it went great. After the event, Evangeline decided to take Sheila to the side.

“Miss Sheila, you know the video they showed about being overwhelmed?” She asked.  
“Yes, it was very informative.”  
“Well, that’s sorta like what my attacks are like. They’re not quite as bad, but they’re close.”

Evangeline didn’t know what to expect but it wasn’t a hug. A lightbulb had gone off in Sheila’s head. All this time trying to explain to her what it was like during one of the attacks and she finally figured out how.

“I’m sorry, I had no idea,” Sheila said. 

Evangeline just nodded.

“It’s fine. I didn’t really know how to describe it. It’s hard because you hate being in that place so you don’t ever want to think about to describe it.”  
That didn’t matter now. Sheila understood. Little did Evangeline know that after their exchange that day, Sheila would tell the rest of the staff. Once they understood, they started researching how to help. They finally had a jumping off point to help not only kids on the spectrum but also people with anxiety.

Ever since then, they’ve been the nicest and most understanding people about what she feels. Evangeline has even become somewhat of a star to the kids as well. They’ve started to understand that she feels what they feel and that they can come hang out with her with they get overwhelmed.

A couple days later, Aiden sat beside her behind the big desk. He’s “having a bad day” according to his father. It’s fine, she knows what those are like to.

She patted his head.

“You are strong. You will win.”


	6. A Finished Sketch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evangeline finally finishes that sketch of the library and gets a job offer.

V.  
Evangeline flipped open her sketchbook as she sat down at the front desk of the library. She was almost done with the lobby. All she had left was a couple of bookshelves on the right side of the lobby, the doors to that side and a couple of kids tables with crafts on them. Though most of the children’s activities take place up stairs, the library always features some of the crafts down stairs.

Today, she knew she had brought her pencils. It was a Thursday, one of the slowest days of the week. There were no events planned and the library had been restocked the day before. She knew she would have the time to finish her sketch today. It was a sketch only a year in the drawing. Between events, her panic attacks and just life, she had never had the time to finish it.

As she was applying the proper shading to the table with the crafts, since it was near the window, she heard the gentle and soft voice of an older gentleman.  
“That’s a beautiful sketch,” he said.

Evangeline looked up to see a man with three beginner’s guide for art books. He had short, thinning gray hair, reading glasses and a slightly lopsided beard. It looked like he had just barely trimmed one side a little short.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Evangeline said, putting away her sketchbook. “I’ll get those checkout for you.”  
“Are you classically trained?”  
“Well, I went to school for it. I have my degree in art.”  
“Did you take art at the primary school here?”

Evangeline felt her stomach in her throat as she tried her best not to shake.   
“Y-yes.”  
“Are you Evangeline?”

Her eyes become wide and she dropped one of his books. Her body was on full on panic mode now. The room was starting to close in on her and she could feel the color leaving her face. Who was he? How did he know her? Had he been stalking her? How long had he been following her? Was she a target?

“E-Evangeline calm down,” he said noticing her sudden panic. “It’s me, Mr. Everett. I used to teach art at the primary school. It’s okay.”

Evangeline started to shake as her chest felt tight but she tried her best to focus on his face. It was a long cry from the long haired, clean shaven Mr. Everett she remembered in primary school, but it had probably been 20 years since she had seen him. She tried to match his face. It was thinner now, but it was still an oval style. His cheekbones were the same, sharp pronounced as the ones before. His green eyes had the same glimmer as her former teacher’s. It was him.

Knowing it was him helped stop the attack from escalating but it didn’t stop the fear that she felt now. She was still shaking, but the room had stopped closing in. She tried her best to center herself and breath deeply. It helped a little. Her chest still felt like someone had dropped a weight on it, but she could at least function now.

“I’m sorry, I should have introduced myself first,” Mr. Everett said in a calm, caring tone. “I’m pretty sure I still had all my hair the last time you saw me.”  
Evangeline chuckled. “Yeah, you did.”  
“Well I’m actually the principal at the primary school now, and I’ve been looking for ways to improve morale at the school.”  
“Why? What happened?”   
“Well, just between us, a scandal hit the P.E. department at the school. All the P.E. coaches were forced to resign and the principal and assistant principal.”  
“What was the scandal?”  
“That I can’t tell you, but it left me as the most senior person there so I was hired as principal.”  
“Congratulations?” Evangeline said in a half-serious tone. She didn’t know how to react to the news.  
“It would be under better circumstances. So I’ve been trying to boost morale at the school ever since.”  
Evangeline just nodded her head.  
“I thought maybe a nice big mural in the main hallway would be nice. Do you remember the big wall at the end of the hallway, near the doors that just has nothing on it?”  
“Yeah. On the opposite side waaaaay down the hall is the school logo, right?”  
“Right. I was thinking a nice, big mural there. Would you like to paint it?”

Evangeline was taken aback by the offer. She froze. Her mind was racing. No one had ever asked her to paint a mural before. I mean, sure, people had asked for like portraits but nothing like a mural. Nothing that would be seen or displayed. It was every artist’s dream to have a piece like this, but was she ready? Was she good enough? She had kept up with sketching, but she hadn’t finished a painting in almost a year. Was there any way she could do it? Especially with her current situation?

“Evangeline? Do you need a moment?” Mr. Everett’s voice cut through to her, breaking her out of her own prison.  
“Are you sure?”  
“Well, what would boost mural more than having a former student be the artist behind it? It would show the kids what they can become.”  
“I-I guess that’s true.”  
“We’d be able to pay you. I mean, honestly, not a lot but we’d be able to pay. We are on a public school budget though.”  
“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t charge a lot because it’d be my first mural.”  
“So the school would have a first for future renown artist Evangeline. Perfect.”  
“Well I—”  
Mr. Everett cut her off by handing her a business card.  
“My cell phone is on the back. You can call or text and we can discuss payment and the design. Sound good?”  
Evangeline took the card.  
“Yeah...I’ll get you checked out now.”  
She scanned each book, stamped them and handed them back.  
“They’re due back in a couple weeks.”  
“Thank you Evangeline, I’ll be in touch.”

Evangeline smiled as Mr. Everett walked away. Her former teacher had just offered her her first paid commission. It was her first paid gig as an artist. How could she not be happy? How could she not be ecstatic? Nothing could ruin this day now. Then she looked up. A young man with John Lennon glasses and blowout with tapered sides was standing there. Now it was a nightmare.

“I’m sorry,” Julius said in an actually apologetic tone. “I-I’m not good with social cues. They just don’t click with me sometimes. I was just really excited to meet another artist.”

Evangeline’s fear started to deter. She had attended enough of the autism awareness programs to understand what Julius was saying to her. She felt empathy. They were both dealing with something they couldn’t control.

“Do you have—”  
“Mild Asperger’s? Yes.” Julius said hanging his head down.  
“No, no, no, no.” Evangeline said trying to comfort him. “You don’t have to be sad. It’s something you can’t control, I understand.”  
“I understand why you avoided me though. I wanted to tell you that I’m not mad about that. I’m trying to be better.”

Evangeline noticed the books he had at checkout were autism self-help books. They were about understanding autism’s effects and working past them. It was admirable, she knew how hard it could be from attending the events at the library as well as her own anxiety.  
“It’s just hard to find artists in this small town. It’s a lot different from New Arcadia.”  
“New Arcadia?”  
“Yeah, it’s where I went to university. It’s on the other side of the country really. It has an entire section of the city that’s just like musicians and artists and art galleries and puppeteers and just all this creativity in one place.”  
“That sounds really cool.”  
“It was but it was too overwhelming, that’s why I came back here.”  
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Evangeline said.  
“No, it’s fine. I can work better here. Besides, I’m still in contact with Theo.”  
“Theo?” Evangeline asked with a bit of curiosity.   
“He was the teacher assistant in one of my classes. He graduated top of his class and knows the art gallery manager really well. He helped me out a lot.”  
“That’s awesome!”  
“I still send him pictures of what I paint and draw to get his critiques. If he really likes something, I send it down to him.”  
“Why?”  
“He’s trying to get a show at the gallery, but he doesn’t have enough pieces of just his work yet. So he offered to feature my pieces as well in like a master and student type show.”  
“That’d be awesome!” Evangeline said, legitimately excited for Julius.  
“It’s taking a while, but we’ll get there. If you’re ever in New Arcadia, you should check him out.”  
“I don’t know.”  
“I see your sketch of the library, it’s really good. Better than my stuff. I’m sure he could help you get a show there. Maybe you could even join in our show, if we haven’t had it yet,” Julius said, his edges of his face curling into a big smile. He was beaming with pride and joy.  
“I wouldn’t want to take your spotlight.”  
“No, it’d be fine! It’s the least I can do for the other day.”  
“I—”  
“Just remember, Theo. Okay?”  
“Okay.” Evangeline nodded as she reached for his books. 

The event he called “just the other day” had actually happened about a month prior. It had stuck with him that clearly. They both just managed to have a bad day on the same day. 

“They’re due back in two weeks.”  
“Gotcha. Remember, Theo in New Arcadia.”  
She sighed and nodded again at Julius as he left out of the library.

Evangeline still had plenty of time left on the day so she started back on her sketch. It was nearly complete. With the shading of the table now down, all she had left were the doors, which was definitely going to be one of the easiest parts. 

With her shift about halfway over, Evangeline looked at her completed sketch of the library, it felt good to finally finish another piece, even if it was just a sketch. Every sketch or piece she finished, always made her well up on the inside with pride. It was something she had done, something she had created. It was a little piece of her soul in every piece and these pieces would, hopefully, outlive her some day. Seeing her hard work finished was definitely one of its own rewards.

She flipped to a new page and started a new sketch. It was just an outline of children. She needed to figure out a nice sketch design for the school before she tried to paint it. Once it was painted, she could grid off her painting and use the grid to repaint an enlarged version on the wall. She just wanted everything to be perfect for her first paid gig. 

The rest of the day at the library went by fast. There was no more customers to check out but Evangeline had gone through four pages of sketches so far, trying to come up with one that would fit the school. It was harder than she thought it would be. 

She decided to let it simmer in her head for the night. Hoping that maybe a dream would provide her with some inspiration. She decided that she would contact Mr. Everett on her next day off to iron out the details of the mural and things like that. For now, however, it was time for sleep. She opened the door to her apartment and closed the door before throwing off her clothes. Today was long and she didn’t feel like changing. She walked over to her bed, put her glasses on the bedside table, set the alarms and just flopped onto the bed.

“Remember, even if you feel like you did nothing, fighting yourself is something. You are strong, you will win.”


	7. Block

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having an art block is hell and it's Evangeline's hell to deal with this day.

VI.

Evangeline opened the door to her quiet apartment. She was exhausted, but she couldn’t rest, not yet at least. Tomorrow was her day off so she had time to work tonight. She heated up some leftover spaghetti from the night before and washed it down with some soda. She needed a little bit of fuel for the night ahead of her.

She went to the bathroom and removed her makeup. She then washed her face with cold water to wake her up and get her going. She tore off her outfit for the day and replaced it with some overalls that had paint all over them. She made sure her hair was out of the way by putting it up in a chinese bun. She had special pins that looked like charcoal pencils that she used to keep it up. 

Evangeline took a deep breath and marched confidently back to her purse. She took out her sketchbook, her pencils and opened to a clean. She sharpened her pencil and nothing. Absolutely nothing. A black hole of creativity drained the ambition of Evangeline. She had no ideas. Nothing.   
“You’re going to disappoint him.”  
Of course this would happen now of all times.  
“You’re going to ruin your first gig.”  
It definitely wasn’t helping.  
“Nothing is probably better than what you would have drawn anyways.”  
“You’re not good enough for this project.”  
“You shouldn’t even try.”  
“Your art isn’t even good.”

For a few moments she sat motionless at her kitchen table, frozen, trapped by her own mind. Her own self. Then she started to shake as her body caught up with her mind. All the negativity, all the thoughts just become static that overwhelmed her senses. She could feel the water pressing against the dam, but she refused to cry. She didn’t want to cry. She didn’t want to feel weak. She didn’t want to be beaten by herself again. She didn’t want any of this. She just wanted to be normal, feel normal and have her mind act normal. She just wanted peace.

Tluck...plip...speck, speck

One drop after another hitting the page of her sketchbook. She didn’t want to cry, but she needed to. She didn’t want to be weak, but you can’t be strong forever. She didn’t want to be beaten, and she hadn’t been. She moved her sketchbook away as she buried her face into her arms, pushing her glasses to the top of her head.   
The river wasn’t just flowing, it was flooding. Everything was flooding; emotions, memories, thoughts, stress, life. It was overwhelming. This was her chance and she was ruining it, just like she had so many times before. Just like when she was fired from her first job when she a panic attack in the middle of the lunch rush. Just like when she was supposed to have her art final showcase and she couldn’t give a tour of her art from the anxiety. Just like when she had the chance to produce something for the local art show, but her own doubt stopped her. It was the story of her life. A river of sorrow home to a healthy population of regret fed by the rains of anxiety and doubt. A river she could never escape.

Evangeline stayed there, crying, for what to her felt like a millennia. Lifting her head off her arms felt like it took all of her power. She knew what she wanted most right now, her bed. With shaky legs and weaker body, her feet shuffled to her bed. She fell face first right into it, her pillow soaking up some of the tears still lingering to her face. 

“Look at you giving up again.”  
“You’ll never change.”  
“You’ll always be weak.”  
“You’ll never amount to anything.”  
“You are useless.”  
“You are wasted talent.”

“SHUT UP!” Evangeline screamed as she covered her ears and head with her pillow. “I know. I know. I know.”

She had always been her own worst enemy, but she hadn’t had a night like this in a long time. Evangeline thought she was past these types of nights. She thought that she had grown strong enough to never have these nights again. 

“I’m strong, I will win. I’m strong, I will win. I’m strong I will win.” she repeated to herself over and over again that night until she finally managed to fall asleep. 

Evangeline woke up the next afternoon feeling like death. Her body felt chained to the bed, her chest crushed, her stomach empty, each limb detached and her strength gone. She stared at the ceiling of her bedroom, unflinching, unmoving. She just wished she could sink into her bed and away. She didn’t care where just not here. Maybe there was some universe in the bed where she could start over, where she was normal.

Her gaze shifted to the side, gravity taking over and forcing her head to turn. She locked eyes with her whiteboard. There it was in big, black letters, “To do list.” She let out a long, groan more akin to the rumbling of a train coming down the tracks than a groan. The first objective just kept staring at her, piercing her mind and soul. “Get Up.”

“Nooooo, I don’t want to,” Evangeline whined at the board. “Not today. Just let me sulk.”

Evangeline used all her energy to flip over on her side, so she’d laying away from the board. However, the board still ate at her. There was no checkmark there as it had been for so many days in a row. It stayed there and it stared. Each passing moment, a taunt from the board. A to-do list so simple, yet so hard. She wanted to just close her eyes and sleep but her mind always drifted to the board. 

“Oh shut up!”

She shouted at the board. It didn’t help. Habits and positive reinforcement are a tough combination to break. 

“Uuuuugh, fine!”

Evangeline said defeated as she slowly raised up from her grave. Her clothes were unchanged from the night before, now just a little wrinkled. She stared at the board with pure disgust. Her feet were off the bed, but she still didn’t want to get up and move, but she did. As she pushed herself up, the weight of her limbs made a sudden shift. They felt almost weightless and she could hardly feel herself using them. It was like a numbing mist taking over her body as she shuffled to the board.

“Fine,” she said putting a checkmark by the “get up” space. “But I’m not taking a shower.”

She shuffled to her bathroom, glasses still on, clothes still on and hair that can only be described as a mess.

“I’m not taking a shower,” she mumbled to herself as her hand gripped the knob of the bathtub and turned it on hot. Evangeline groaned as she bent over to look in the compartment under the sink. She spent a moment looking around before finally pulling out a lavender bath bomb. She smiled at her little gift to herself she’d saved. That smile would soon where its welcome as the tub wasn’t filling up at all; she’d forgotten to set the drain to stop.

“Of course,” she grumbled to herself.

She flipped up the level and made sure the tub was actually filling up as she adjusted the temperature of the water and finally dropped her bath bomb in the water. As the ball disintegrated and turned the water, appropriately, lavender, all Evangeline could think about was how much she wished that was her. Just be able to crumble away into nothing. Leave it all and just be absorbed into the universe. Just be floating and not have any worries or any stresses. Just be free.

She turned off the water and stuck her foot into the water before realizing, she still had on her clothes from yesterday.

“I should probably take these off,” she thought to herself.

After removing her clothes rather sluggishly, she tossed them in the floor. She stepped into the tub once again, this time she could enjoy it. She loved feeling the hot water slowly engulf her as she sank in the tub. She could feel her muscles releasing, the tension evaporating thanks to the eucalyptus in the bath bomb. She could feel this almost forced state of relaxation and she didn’t want to leave it. So she laid and she soaked. 

As she slid deeper into the bath, the water muting the sound of everything as it enveloped more of her body. She closed her eyes and tried to slip to a happy place. A place that wasn’t here. It was so much different since not having Grace around. She had always been a text, a walk or a call away when these things happened. Then, after college, everything changed. Instead of keeping up with friends, Evangeline drowned herself in just trying to provide for herself; she stopped communicating.

With her anxiety seemingly costing her job after job, there was never any time to worry about anything other than getting her next paycheck. No time for friends, no time for art, no time for Evangeline to be her and be happy. Some things you don’t realize until you take a moment and think. Think about how far you’ve come and how far you have left to go. She had time to sit down and sketch now. She had time to relax and enjoy being at home. She had time for friends now.

“I’m gonna text her,”  
The thought rushed into her mind almost subconsciously as she continued reflected in her life. She HAD time for friends now. She COULD text Grace. She just never realized it. She had the free time. Evangeline sat up in the tub and let it start draining as she turned on the water to readjust the levels for a shower. That was her treat to herself, now it was time to get clean.

“Fine, but this is all you’re getting,” Evangeline told the whiteboard as she marked off showering and getting dressed before putting on a sweatshirt and boy shorts. 

She grabbed her phone and looked up Grace’s contact info. She pressed compose and...nothing.  
“What do I say?”  
“Do I apologize?”  
“Does she even still like me?”  
“What if we’re not friends anymore?”  
“What if she hates me?”

Evangeline’s hand started trembling as all these thoughts started to flood in. She hadn’t really thought through any of this and now she was. There was so much unknown, so much doubt. Evangeline took a long, deep breath.

“Hi”  
Sent 2 p.m.

Evangeline just stared at her phone, waiting.  
“She won’t open it because she doesn’t like you anymore.”  
“Why she even look at it? You haven’t talked in years.”  
“She’s not going to return it.”  
“She doesn’t want to hear from you—”

Guuuuuuuurgle

Her own stomach cut off her thoughts. She hadn’t eaten yet today and her body could really feel it. Maybe that’s why she didn’t have as much energy as she should. Food was the one thing she could always agree on with herself. Not what to eat necessarily, but the need to eat. Evangeline didn’t feel much like cooking but she didn’t have anything in the freezer to just heat up and she had finished off her leftovers the other day. 

Evangeline wanted something really easy so she grabbed a cup and a fork from her cabinets and a couple eggs from the fridge. She cracked the eggs and poured the yolks into the cup. She seasoned the eggs with a pinch of salt and pepper and added just a little bit of milk to the cup. Evangeline started whisking the eggs with the fork, pulling the fork every now and then to let air into the cup and eggs. She didn’t know if it actually made the eggs fluffier but her dad said it did when she was young so she has ever since. 

She reached down and took out a small pan and turned the front burner of the stove. She dropped a small chunk of butter into the pan and used her spatula to grease the pan with it, waiting until the butter melted completely. She poured her whisked liquid into the pan and tilted the pan to make sure it was a nice even spread. She then nudged and nursed the goop as it solidified into more of a mush. She tilted the pan again and lifted it and scrubbed with the spatula, making sure that none of the eggs were sticking to the pan and trying to herd the now solid eggs to the middle. She got down a plate and once there seemed to be no indication of a semi-solid egg left, she poured the eggs onto the plate and turned off the stove. Evangeline tossed the pan in the sink to cool off and took her breakfast to the table.Sitting down she realized she had grabbed the fork she used to whisk the eggs.

“Great,” Evangeline grumbled to herself as the fork made a loud clunk as it hit the side of the sink from her lackadaisical throw, but slide in. She grabbed a new fork that she could actually eat with and started to dig in.

“Should have added cheese,” she thought to herself. “Why didn’t I? Oh yeah the cheese is in the bottom drawer and that would have required bending down. Definitely not worth it. That’s way too much work for eggs.”

Evangeline’s phone buzzed, but she was still lost in her own mind about eggs to notice it. After she tossed her plate in the sink, she grabbed her phone and walked over to the whiteboard and put a big checkmark beside “eat.”

“There, I’ve done what you want. Now I’m gonna sulk and take a nap and maybe eat ice cream and you can’t stop me,” she said sticking her tongue out at the whiteboard.

She grabbed her blanket and bundled up before plopping onto her bed. As she lay there, comfy in her soft, fleece tortilla all human burritoed to the max, she checked her phone. One message from Grace.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah—No I—Hel—How ar—Don’t wor—”

Evangeline didn’t know how to respond. She definitely was not okay, but she didn’t want her friend to worry. She worried if she said that she wasn’t, it’d make Grace think that Evangeline only texted her because she needed her, not because she wanted to see her friend. She didn’t even know if they were still friends.  
“Is she just being polite?”  
“Does she actually care?”  
The questions and thoughts filled Evangeline’s head, just adding more pressure to the return she needed to send. Grace was waiting on her. Probably. Hopefully. She had to make sure the reply was perfect or else. What the “else” was, Evangeline didn’t know and didn’t care to find out.

“Yeah. It’s just my first day off in what feels like years.” 

She had lied, but only a little. It was a white lie, it wouldn’t hurt Grace. More importantly, it would let her know how Grace felt.

“Same. I’m actually on vacation right now?”  
“Really? Where to?”  
“I’m going and visiting family and then going to a festival.”  
“When will you be back?”  
“About a month, month and a half?”  
“I wish I got vacation for that long.”  
“Well, I’m between jobs.   
When I get back I have to get to job hunting.   
Not having to worry about work is nice.”  
“I bet.”  
“Where are working now?”  
“The library.”  
“How long have you been there?”  
“About a year.”  
“Hey, I think that’s a new record for you.”  
“Yupp.”  
“It going okay?”  
“I’ve had a few attacks but they’re understanding.”  
“That’s good.”   
“Yeah.”  
“Wanna hang when I get back?”

Evangeline smiled at the invitation. She hadn’t seen her best, maybe former best, friend in years but she wanted to see Evangeline. Grace seemed to still care. It was almost like she had been waiting for a text from Evangeline, it made Evangeline feel stupid. She had been worried about the reaction. There felt like there was nothing to worry about now.

“Sure. Where?”  
“The mall?”  
“Sure.”  
“Minigolf is first.”  
“It’s still open?”  
“Oh yeah.”  
“Then sure.”  
“All right, it’s set then.”  
“Just remind me.”  
“I will.”  
“You know I’m forgetful.”  
“I know.”

Evangeline’s heart sank. She wondered if Grace thought that she was forgotten. Did she not text because she was waiting on Evangeline? Has she felt forgotten? These were questions that Evangeline was not too afraid to ask, just too afraid to learn the answer to. She didn’t want to know.

“It was nice talking again.”  
“Likewise.”  
“Keep in touch?”  
“Please do.”

That was all Evangeline needed to see. She knew Grace and Grace knew her. Evangeline felt guilty. She knew Grace stopped texting to keep her from being overwhelmed. Grace didn’t want to add to the burning fires that Evangeline was trying to put out at the time. 

“Promise.”

Evangeline locked her phone and turned over, staring at her ceiling. She wanted to feel excited but she also felt guilty. She was happy to be able to hang out with Grace again, but she felt terrible for pushing Grace away. When was the last time they had even talked? Evangeline hurriedly unlocked her phone and scrolled up in her texts. The last messages were from almost two years ago. Evangeline had sent a block of text.

“This is the third job. I’m panicking.  
I don’t know if I’ll make rent.  
I don’t know what I’m going to do.  
I just don’t know anything.  
I’m stressed and nothing is making it better.  
I can’t talk. I’ll text you again when I can.”  
“Okay.”

Grace had been waiting almost two years for that message and she had finally gotten it. Evangeline felt sick. She didn’t remember ever sending that. Her memory wasn’t the best, especially when recalling things that have happened during panic attacks. She had always thought that Grace just stopped texting.   
“Why didn’t I check before?”  
“How could I do that to her?”  
“Why did I do that to her?”

The questions poured as did her grief at the situation, but she had to make the most of it. She and Grace were talking once again and would soon be hanging out. She just had to make it up to Grace then. They had years of catching up to do and Evangeline had to make sure it happened.

Evangeline was tired from everything. She was ready for her nap. The one she told her whiteboard she’d take. She turned over to face the whiteboard and saw her writing as she drifted off.

“Remember, even if you feel like you did nothing, fighting yourself is something. You are strong, you will win.”


	8. Returns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After making no progress on the mural, Evangeline has to face Mr. Everett and has a not-so-great experience at the school while trying to find inspiration.

VII.  
Evangeline was fidgeting behind the main desk as the day went by. She had her sketchbook beside her, a few pages torn out from her trials of the mural. She just wanted to get home so she could continue trying to come up with a rough sketch with the school. Her leg was bouncing, her fingers tapping against the desk and she let out a small sigh.  
“You won’t finish it.”  
“I know.”  
“He’ll be disappointed.”  
“I know.”  
“You’re ruining your chance.”  
“I. Know.”  
“You’re never going to come up with an idea.”  
“I KNOW!”  
Evangeline yelled at herself inside her head. Her fingers were shaking and she balled them into fists, trying to bring herself back under control. The past couple of weeks had been terrible on her. She couldn’t escape herself or her head. All she wanted to do was cry, but she had done enough of it lately. She placed her head on the desk and just let out a deep breath.

“Evangeline?” A familiar voice asked.  
“Oh no,” Evangeline thought to herself as she looked up.

Looking down at her was Mr. Everett. 

“You okay?”  
“Uh, yeah.”  
“I’m here to return the books,” he said sliding the books to her.  
“Okay. Are you returning them or do you need more time?” She asked as she pulled the books behind the desk to her.  
“I’m returning them, just needed to make copies for class.”  
“Okay, I’ll get these put into the system for you.”  
“I see your sketchbook is out, are you working on the mural while you’re at work?”

Evangeline momentarily froze, her stomach sank.

“I—I’m tryin.”  
“How far have you gotten?”

Time seemed to stop as she felt the world come down on her.  
“Do I tell him the truth?”  
“Will he be mad?”  
“Will I lose the gig?”  
“Am I going to disappoint him?”

Mr. Everett noticed the look on Evangeline’s face. He understood the momentary thousand-yard stare, breaking eye contact, and head tilting down slightly. He knew what was going through her head.

“If you haven’t, that’s actually good.”  
“It is?” Evangeline said confused as she snapped back to reality.  
“It is. I hate to take away your creativity but I do have a request.”  
“I mean, it is a commissioned mural so of course you can make one.”  
“Of course. Do you remember the old playground?”  
“Definitely, I got sick on the merry-go-round.”  
“We’ve been trying to get money to renovate it. It hasn’t been replaced since you were there.”  
“Oh wow.”  
“We thought we were going to get the funding, but the board of education denied it.”  
“I’m sorry to hear that.”  
“I’m hoping that if you could incorporate the playground into the mural, that they’d fund it next  
year.”  
“I think I can do that. I always loved the playground.”  
“That’s good to hear. They approved the funding of the mural, though. However, due to legalities of funding, I can’t pay you until it’s finished. If that’s okay.”  
“I—that will make things tougher honestly. I need the money for materials.”  
“I’m allowed to pay for materials as you work.”  
“Then that’d work...how much was offered, if you don’t mind me asking.”  
“They allowed $400 plus materials.”  
“THAT MUCH?!?” Evangeline nearly screamed, standing up at the desk. 

She looked around to the entire library and noticed everyone was looking at her. The room felt on fire as her face went flush. She noticed that a line had formed behind Mr. Everett as well. All Evangeline wanted to do was run, but she knew she could had been a long time since she had made this much of a fool of herself.

“Evangeline, calm down.”  
“I—I’m sorry, I’ve just never made that much from art before,” she said taking her seat.  
“I figured that’d be a low price for you.”  
“It’s my first ever mural. I figured my lack of experience would reduce the price. Plus, I was planning on painting it in black and white. ”  
“That would work out well on the way. They were repainted a bright white a few months ago as part of the renovations at the school.”  
“I’m still figuring out my style, but I’ve been exclusively black and white paintings for a little while. At least, keeping the subjects like that. Sometimes I add colors to the background.”  
“Sounds interesting. I can’t wait to see what you come up with.”  
“I’ll text you a picture of the sketch, I need to get back to work. There’s a line behind you now, I’m sorry.”  
“No, no, no. There’s no need to apologize. I need to let you get back to work. Thank you for everything Evangeline.”

Evangeline called the next patron up to the desk and started to check out their books. This person was checking out books about architecture and medieval castles. The one on the front looked like Dracula’s castle. 

“It’s due back in two weeks, sorry for the wait,” Evangeline told her.

The rest of the day went by in this time-contradictive state. She was busy in her head still spitballing ideas to herself. It felt like she had spent hours figuring out the ideas but when the line finished and she looked at the clock, only an hour had passed. 

Evangeline tried to stretch her neck and fingers but time was just moving too slow. She wanted to be gone. She needed to be gone. After a few minutes of just looking around the library and tapping her foot, Evangeline got up to walk around for a moment. She hoped the walk would help calm her nerves. Every step, every movement, every touch was otherworldly to her at the moment. It felt like the world was slowing down and she was speeding up at the same time, she could feel her heart start racing.  
“You’ll never finish on time if you stay here.”  
“You were lucky he wasn’t mad.”  
“Is your art worth $400?”  
“Can you even paint a mural?”  
“You don’t even have an idea.”  
“How will you incorporate a playground?”

Evangeline darted for the bathroom. She needed an escape, just for a moment. The empty bathroom was almost always a little quieter than the rest of the library. She splashed some cold water on her face as she bent over the sink, taking deep breaths. 

“Breathe, just breathe” she thought to herself as she rubbed her temples. She leaned forward, placing her forehead against the edge of the mirror and started to just lightly butt the mirror.  
“Just. Breathe. You’ve. Got. This.” she said in rhythm with her headbutts. “Just. Re-lax. Just. Re-lax.”

Evangeline cupped her face in her hands and leaned her head back, letting an exasperated breath out towards the ceiling. She gripped the sides of the side and just kind of stared at herself in the mirror. Each moment felt like decade. She didn’t know what to say or tell herself. She just stood there and stared, unmoving. After a few moments, her reflection became hazy as her vision in general started to blur. She continued to just stay there, drowning in her own head.

Klunk.

The sound of the bathroom door opening phased Evangeline back into the world of the living. She looked over to see a patron walking through and exchanged the awkward head nod as the patron walked into the stall and closed the door.

“Yay for waterproof makeup,” she said looking in the mirror.  
“Boo for taking it off,” she said as she made her way out of the bathroom and back to the front desk. 

She made sure to check the clock as she walked out, only about 20 minutes had passed since she got up from the front desk. Krissty was sitting at desk.

“Sorry, bathroom emergency,” Evangeline said.  
“We all have those,” Krissty said getting up from the desk and walking back to the elevator. 

Evangeline sat back down at her post and just spent a few moments recollecting herself. She put her sketchbook away and hoped maybe not having to stare at it would help her get through the rest of the day. She needed a change and inspiration and she knew where to get it. However, it would have to wait until after work.

Evangeline knew exactly how to make the time pass. She grabbed the returned cart and asked someone to watch the desk as she went to restock the shelves. Normally, she hated how long this took and having to rearrange shelves and books, but today she needed that distraction. She needed something to do with her hands; a distraction.  
“Fiction, mystery is this section” she said talking to herself.  
“E. E. E. Where are the E authors?”  
“Here we go.”

She talked to herself the entire time she restocked the shelves. She’d rather hear herself than hear the voice inside her head. It helped. The day went by slowly, but it was without another incident. That was something that Evangeline was grateful for. She dropped her things off at her apartment, grabbed her full sketching pencil set and got in the car.

She drove to Campton Primary School and parked, facing the playground. She remembered it all too well. The merry-go-round that she and so many people had gotten sick on. The balance beam where you become a target to get knocked off. Monkey bars started the fun trek up to the slide. You had to make it across them and the floating platforms to get to the stairs up to the slide...if you didn’t take the climbing wall on the other side. At the top of the slide, you could either slide down or choose to slide down the pole. 

The playground was much different than she remembered now, though. It was dark, but she could still tell how faded everything was. The paint was missing off part of the merry-go-round and balance beam. Some of the rocks were missing off the climbing wall and the plastic on the slide looked frayed. It was a far cry from her time at school where it was bright and looked new and it was the best part of every day. 

It matched the faded brick of the school, though that had been faded for as long as she could remember. Apparently, when the school was first built, the superintendent of the schools used peach velour brick because it’d be the only school in Campton’s side of the country to have it. That was about the only thing unique about the school. Everything else just always looked copy and pasted out of a google image. 

Campton was small and the primary school school matched. The only reason that it was allowed to host a community college was it was the biggest city in a 50-mile radius. It was barely at city at just under 3,000 people but it was a city nonetheless.

Evangeline got out her sketchbook and pencils and just started sketching the playground. She had never tried to even draw it before so she was going to need some practice and a reference. Plus, if she was lucky, maybe something would come to her. She decided to start with her old foe, the merry-go-round.

She remembered the first time she got sick on the merry-go-round. She and a boy from her class decided to see who could hang-on the longest. The entire class took turns spinning the merry-go-round. The boy fell off not too terribly long after it started but Evangeline remembered being too afraid to let go with how fast it was spinning. Then it became a game of how long could Evangeline hold on. The answer was quite a while if she closed her eyes. She took one step off the merry-go-round and just vomited. She chuckled to herself.  
“Still won,” she said to herself.

Out of everything in the city, the primary school held some of her best memories. She was free then. Her anxiety didn’t really kick in until secondary school. She missed those days of running free. Of not having a care in the world. Of not having to pay bills. Of being able to paint whenever she wanted. She got naps in the middle of school and juice boxes. Evangeline suddenly had a craving for a juice box.

Tap. Tap.

Evangeline shot up at the sound and looked at her window, confused. There was a police officer tapping on the window. She rolled the window down.

“Ma’am?”  
“Y-yes?”  
“You realize you’re parked in an empty school parking lot at nine o’ clock at night, right?”  
“I...is it really that late already? I could have sworn I just pulled up.”  
The officer chuckled.  
“It is, but that still doesn’t answer what you’re doing here.”  
“I’m drawing the playground.”  
“You’re...drawing? The playground?”  
“Yes.”  
“Ma’am I’m going to have to ask you to step out of the car for a sobriety test.”  
“I have my sketchbook right here!”  
“Ma’am please don’t raise your voice to me.”  
“I-I-I’m not trying to, but I really am drawing it. I can prove it.”  
“I’m asking you to please step out of the car.”  
“I’ve been hired by the school to draw the playground.”

The officer stopped for a moment.

“I haven’t received word of anyone being allowed on the school property this late.”  
“I have Mr—I mean principal Everett’s number. I can call him.”  
“Ma’am I’m asking you to comply.”  
“You can call Mr. Everett. Just ask him.”  
“Out of the car.”  
“Please!”  
“You have until the count of five to get out of the car.”  
“Okay! Okay. okay.”  
Evangeline reached for the door.  
“Slowly” barked the officer.

She slowly opened the door and stepped out of the car.

“Drop it!” Screamed the officer.  
“Drop what?”  
“I will arrest you if you don’t drop what’s in your hand.”

Evangeline realized that she still had her sketchbook in her hand and she just let it go.

“It’s my sketchbook, I’m sorry.”  
“Now, I’m going to put you in cuffs.”  
“For what?” Evangeline hands started to shake.  
“To make sure you don’t go anywhere will I call the principal.”  
“You don’t have to.”

The officer reached out a forcefully grabbed Evangeline’s wrist, pinning it behind her back. The handcuffs felt like cold iron to a fey as they wrapped tightly around her wrist. They felt like a snake coiling around its victim. Her shaking hands felt like it was losing circulation. Her eyes glazed over as she heard the officer yelling, but it sounded so distant and far away and muffled.  
“You’re in trouble.”  
“You’ll lose your job.”  
“You’ll lose your gig.”  
“Your parents will be disappointed.”  
“You deserve—”

Evangeline’s own demons were cut off by a rough push that caused her to trip and fall over the curb. She tried to brace herself with her hands, but they were behind her so her head hit hard and she just laid there. The concrete felt rough against her skin but it was more than that. She could feel every dimple, every grain, every rock, every imperfection in the aging sidewalk as she laid there.  
“You’re going to lose it all.”  
“You can’t afford bond.”  
“People believed in you.”  
“People trusted you.”  
“Now you’ll just a criminal to them.”  
“Draw something about this.”  
“You deserve to lay here.”  
“Hope you enjoy jail.”  
“You’ll never get to see Grace now.”  
“I’m sure your parents are proud.”  
“Can’t sketch with broken wrists.”  
“Can’t paint in jail.”  
“What will you do?”  
“This is all you’ll ever amount to.”

Evangeline knew she was crying, but she couldn’t feel it. Instead of sadness there was nothing. Instead of feeling the warm flow of liquid down her face, there was nothing. The cuffs no longer hurt. The concrete no longer felt. There was just nothing. Just emptiness. 

“Evangeline?”  
“Evangeline.”  
“Evangeline.”  
“Evangeline!”

She registered she was being shook and the sounds were coming through but she couldn’t seem to focus enough to understand the sounds. As she tried, her eyes came back into focus as much as they could with tears running down her face. She saw two police vehicles, three cops and a messy, older man was shaking her. 

“Evangeline!”

She recognized her name but not who was saying it. This man was in some jeans and a wrinkled white button-down. His thinning gray hair couldn’t decide what direction it wanted to go and his beard unkempt. She tried her best to place his face or his voice to someone she knew. He seemed to know her. 

“Oh thank god,” the person said relieved. “Listen, this person is going to see if you have a concussion.”

A young female in a white and orange shirt approached Evangeline. 

“Just be calm, I’m going to check your pupils.”

She grabbed a flashflight and shined it into Evangeline’s eye.

“That’s good, now follow my finger.”  
Evangeline’s eyes followed the mysterious person’s finger as it moved left then right then stopped then right.

“Do you remember your name?”  
“Evangeline.”  
“Good. How many fingers am I holding up?”  
“Four.”  
“Good. Remember concussion symptoms can take up to 48 hours to show themselves. If you have any symptoms, go to the ER.”  
“O-okay.”

The officer from before approached Evangeline.  
“Sorry ma’am,” he said reaching behind her and undoing her cuffs.

He then walked to his car and drove off, along with the other emergency personnel. The man stayed. He seemed so familiar.

“I’m sorry this happened Evangeline,” the man’s words were dripping with regret. “I didn’t realize you’d try to sketch at night. I should have warned you.”  
“Warned me?”  
“Yes, I’ve had to increase the patrol around here because of young adults trying to ‘talk to God.’”  
“Talk to...God?” Evangeline said her face twisted in confusion.  
“It’s a challenge that some kids came up with. A group of young adults engaged in LSD here one night and one of them climbed to the top of the slide. He reportedly shouted ‘I’ve climbed to the top of Mt. Sinai and talked to God.’”  
“Oh.”  
“When police arrived, he was holding his hands in the air shouting ‘I have the new tablets. God says to stop being a dick and be gay.’ Ever since then, people have been coming down to the school to take hallucinogens at the top of the slide to ‘talk to God.’”  
“That sounds like a problem.”  
“It is. Luckily, it’s started in the summer so no kids are around but I’m worried about when school starts.”

At the mention of school starting, it all hit. It all made sense. This older man was Mr. Everett. She didn’t recognize him without being prim and proper or covered in paint. 

“I understand if you want to not paint the mural because of this,” Mr. Everett said, his head hanging.  
“I-I-I’m going to have to think on it. Tonight’s been a little overwhelming.”  
“Well, if it’s any consolation, the sketch of the playground so far is immaculate,” he said, holding out her sketchbook.  
“Thanks,” she said gingerly taking back her book. “It’s nice to hear but it doesn’t really help with all” see just motioned her hands outwards in circles “That.”  
“I understand. And I’m sorry. I really am.”  
“I know. I’m going to head home now.”  
“Goodnight Evangeline. I’m sorry.”  
“Goodnight.”

Evangeline got in her car and drove. Her apartment wasn’t far away, but it still felt like forever. Her adrenaline was starting to wear off as she tried to come to terms with what had just happened. It was all a blur but she still felt that fear behind it. A fear that would not leave her even as she parked at her own apartment. 

Her legs grew weaker and weaker as she walked across the lot and up the stairs to her apartment. Her hands still shook as she tried to unlock the door. The fear still controlled her as she locked every lock and put a chair against the door. Her body gave out as she approached her bed and collapsed. That night’s sleep was well-deserved as she drifted off with one last thought.

“You are strong. You will win.”


	9. A Day Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evangeline takes a well deserved break and catches up with an old friend.

VIII.  
Evangeline was sitting in front of her easel. She had been working on this piece for a while now. The local school in her small town had asked her to do a mural and this was her test piece for the wall of the school. She was proud of it. It was the first time that she had gotten paid for art since graduating college.  
“Putting that degree to use,” she thought to herself.

She got her phone to take a picture of the piece. She wanted the principal to get a nice look at the piece and make sure everything was perfect before she started gridding the wall of the school. When she picked up her phone, she noticed a message from Grace.

“Hey, remember we’re supposed to meet at the mall today around 2”  
Sent at 8 a.m.  
Seen 12 p.m.  
“Just finishing up here, I haven’t forgotten.”

Evangeline had forgotten, but it was fine. She cleaned her brushes and laid them out flat to dry. She stopped and took a long deep breath. She let the air fill her lungs and used it to push all the stress out of her body with her exhale. Now, it was time to shower.  
Evangeline loved to relax in the shower, that was one of her go-tos for calming down, which meant that she tended to take long showers. 

And a long one she did take. The mall was only about 10 minutes away so that left her with about an hour left, but her thick hair would take at least 10-20 minutes to get dry. The upside to having long, thick hair is that it looked beautiful when it was taken care of. The downside was how much trouble it was to take care of.

After drying it, she put her hair in a high ponytail and decided on her outfit for the day. A purple wine colored T shirt and a pair of black overalls was the choice for today. Her lipstick was a nice pale mauve on the top lip with the dark black on the bottom lip. She just threw on her black converse and that her look for the day. That was it. 

“You know what one of the best things about overalls is?” she asked herself. “Real pockets.”  
She stuffed her keys, wallet, phone, earbuds, charger and anything else she thought she needed into her pockets excitedly. 

There was still about 20 minutes before she needed to leave so texted a picture of the painting to the principal of the school.

“Here’s the mural. I’ll get grid out the wall so I paint a bigger one on the wall if you like the design.”  
Sent 1:42 p.m.  
Seen 1:50 p.m.  
“Looks great, can’t wait for you to paint it.”  
That was the boost her day needed as she was cranking up the car. It was her big project, her first paid gig and she nailed it on the first try. Now she just had to try and figure out when she could fit in enough time to go to a school and start painting. That was for later though. Now, was trying to find parking at the mall.

The town only had one mall and it was pretty much the only place people hung out. It contained a food court, with like four places, an indoor minigolf course, an arcade, four different clothing stores, the 2 pop culture stores every mall has, and a cookie company. It had other things but no one really cared about those. They were just store fillers. 

Evangeline couldn’t remember the last time she had been with or seen her friends. Everyone just kind of scattered for a while after graduation. Evangeline was too busy constantly job swapping due to her anxiety to really have time for anyone. Now she was at a place that she could feel comfortable that she could work. It made the last year not seem as bad as the one before by comparison. She had a job, income, she was painting, getting paid to paint and now she was seeing friends. Evangeline’s face couldn’t help but warp into a big, goofy smile at the thought. Everything was working out. She had survived.

Standing just inside the door of the mall was Grace in a loose fitting Prussian blue blouse and hunter green pants. Her layered pixie cut was on the messy side today and she was wearing Egyptian blue lipstick. She rushed over and hugged Evangeline.

“Eva! It’s been so long!” Grace said in a high-pitch. “I’m so glad that you were finally able to find time off work to catch up!” 

Happiness filled Evangeline as her smile stretched all the way across her face. That shot of dopamine and serotonin straight to the brain was something she hadn’t felt in a very long time. 

“Yeah, I’ve finally got a job that gives me off time,” Evangeline said smiling. “So what are we doing first?”  
“Well naturally I have to reclaim my throne since you went and wouldn’t defend it for two years,” she said sticking her tongue out at Evangeline.  
“How much time have you spent at Black Holes?” Evangeline asked raising her eyebrow.  
“That...doesn’t matter, come on!”

Grace grabbed her hand and started off down the mall. Evangeline was much taller than her 5’4” friend and it made being led around awkward. Evangeline’s strides were too long for Grace so she kept almost hitting the back of Grace’s heel with every step. To everyone looking, it probably seemed Evangeline had the grace of a newborn giraffe, but there was no stopping Grace. “I’m sorry” ended up being the theme of this trek across the mall since it was up to Evangeline to apologize for Grace plowing through and forcing her to plow through people. 

They reached the minigolf place on the other end of the mall, Black Holes. It was a small black-light minigolf course. It didn’t really have anything fancy and the course had definitely seen better days. The painted walls, blocks and obstacles of the course looked like they haven’t been changed in years. The carpet, however, seemed pretty new. It was nice to know that this place was still seeing enough revenue to stay in business.

The first hole was abysmal. Grace managed to bank the ball off the back wall for a hole-in-one. Evangeline’s first shot was way to hard and she ended up having to retry from the halfway point. Her third shot lipped the edge of the hole and she tapped in for four, which put Grace up three strokes.

“Oh come on Eva, that was the easy one,” Grace said tauntingly.   
“I haven’t played in years!” Evangeline replied.  
“Excuses, excuses from the queen of minigolf.” Grace said and stuck her tongue out at Eva.

Grace managed to make the next hole in two strokes.

“She’s disappointed in you.”  
Evangeline shook her head and tried to recenter herself but her first shot was way off target. She recovered and managed to end in the hole in three strokes. Grace was now five ahead.  
“You’re ruining Grace’s fun.”

Evangeline slowly regained her prowess at minigolf, but that didn’t stop herself from being her own worst critic. Every time she lost a stroke, both Grace and herself would taunt her and every time she gained a stroke, she knew it was making Grace mad. How could it not? She had waited years for this rematch and every stroke gained was one more closer to making her wait not worth it. It had to, right?

At the 18 hole, Evangeline was down five strokes.  
“All right Eva, I’ll make you a deal. If you can get a hole in one, I’ll say it’s a tie.” Grace said with a wide smile.  
“I’ll take that bet.” Evangeline said smiling.

This was the classic last hole. A clown with its tongue stuck out and teeth that come down to block the ball if you didn’t hit it with the right timing. Evangeline lined up her shot and hit the ball. It rolled down the fairway with a good bit of speed and hit the clown’s tongue dead center. It climbed the tongue rather slow, it looked like there wasn’t enough on it to get over the hump of the tongue, but it eeked over the hump. As the ball started down the tongue, the teeth started going back up. Evangeline’s ball rolled right into the clown’s mouth. Hole-in-one.

“Eva, you did it!” Grace said excitedly. “You got a hole in—I mean, how dare you make that. I guess I can share the throne with my best friend.”  
She smiled and ran over and hugged Evangeline.  
“Right?”  
“Right.” Evangeline nodded.

“She’s angry at you for ruining her chance.”  
“You should have let her win.”  
“You’re a terrible friend.”

Evangeline shook her head, trying to get rid of her thoughts. She wanted to enjoy this time with her best friend, not feel like this. She knew Grace loved her; they were like sisters. She wouldn’t herself ruin this day. She couldn’t and she wouldn’t.

“So what type do want?”  
“Huh?”  
“Eva, what cookie do you want?”  
“Sugar.”

Evangeline had been so wrapped up in her head that she had failed to realize that Grace had led her to her favorite place to get cookies. There was always something about the place’s sugar cookies that couldn’t be replicated. Even though the sprinkles were just rainbow sprinkles, she could never find ones that tasted the same. She figured she hadn’t had one of these cookies in years either and the thought of one temporarily kicked out those thoughts as all the happy chemicals rushed to her brain.

Grace got her normal fudge and chocolate chip cookie. The two walked to the food court to sit down and eat. The first thing Evangeline noticed was the new carousel in the dead center.

“When did they add that?” Evangeline asked.  
“About a year ago. I’ve ridden it a couple times. Although I felt childish at first, it’s actually really fun,” Grace said.  
“So you’d recommend it?”  
“Definitely, I’ll force you to go on it with me.”

Evangeline let a small chuckle. 

“What?” Grace asked curiously.  
“You dragging me along for something. Whoever would have thought in high school, huh?”  
“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Grace said with a joyful laugh.

Evangeline had known Grace well before high school, but it was high school where Evangeline got the notion of being more a “wild child.” She didn’t really know what anxiety was or understand it so she would rush in terrible situations to face it head on and conquer it. Grace was always there with her. Whether it was an amusement park ride, a party, a date, a bar, an abandoned warehouse, etc., Grace was there. Though it was mostly because Evangeline just dragged her along. 

“So, you want to get on the carousel?”  
“Maybe in a minute or two, I need a minute. I’m tired.”

Grace had known Evangeline long enough to know what that was code for. She had an idea to snap Evangeline out of her daze.

“Listen, I’m going to go ride it and you’re gonna watch” Grace said. “I’ll give you a preview so you know which animal you want to ride.”  
Evangeline cracked a smile. “Okay. Sounds good.”

Grace ran off, smiling and dumping her cookie wrapper in the trash can along the way. The carousel did look fun. It had unicorns, tigers, lions, zebras, swans, donkeys and elephants as far as animals go. It had two non-moving places to sit that just looked like Santa’s sleigh, and two small basket-type carts that could spin as fast as the people inside wanted it to. Naturally, it’s the one Grace chose. Before the ride eve began, she was already spinning. 

“Hey, can I sit here?” a confident, commanding and rich voice asked.

Evangeline looked up to see a woman. She was wearing a black ripped T-shirt with a sheer undershirt that had crimson spiderwebs in the design under it and a visible crimson bra underneath that. She wore black skinny jeans with the checkerboard converses. Her fingernails were black and her lips were vermillion. She wore black winged eyeliner with a smokey burgundy eye shadow. Burgundy snake bites and a nose ring complimented her black bob with carmine highlights. She stood confident in her look, herself and her beauty. 

“Is anyone sitting here?” she asked again.  
“M-m-my friend is sitting there.” Evangeline replied nervously.  
“The one spinning like an idiot?” the stranger asked pointing to the carousel.   
“Y-y-yeah.”  
“May I sit here while she’s riding the carousel?”  
“S-sure.”

She took a seat across from Evangeline and started her in the eyes as she talked. Evangeline hadn’t noticed her dark brown eyes before. 

“I’m Luna,” She said with a smile, which showed off her silver-ringed smiley piercing. “It’s nice to meet you.”  
“L-l-likewise,” Evangeline said.   
“O-o-oh, I’m Evangeline,” she said after a few seconds had passed.  
“I really like the overalls, they look good with the purple.”  
“Thanks, they have real pockets, so that’s nice.”   
“Always a plus,” Luna said chuckling. “I like the sleeve too.”  
“Th-the what?” Evangeline asks.  
“Your sleeve.” Luna says pointing to a stained-glass rose on tattoo near her right elbow. “I assume those go all the way up.”  
“O-oh yeah,” Evangeline says pulling up the sleeves on her shirt.   
“They’re so pretty,” Luna said admiring the art.  
“Thanks. They’re some of my favorite flowers,” Evangeline said smiling. “They go down my back too.”  
The middle of Evangeline’s back looked like the window of a church as stargazer lilies, lavender and magnolias climbed up her back with the same stained-glass style as before. Once reaching her neckline, the flowers exploded into their own small pieces, forming the flowers that start the pattern down her shoulder.  
The flowers on her back, were vibrant in their pinks, purples and crimson. The colors dulled once they exploded, leading to each “first pedal” of the shoulder flowers being a bit brighter than the rest. The left shoulder’s sugarbush’s first pedal was coral pink and the right shoulder’s dahlia’s a redwood color. Both the flowers lost more color with each continuous pedal.   
The right side’s nearly colorless flower, had a broken pedal fall down her arm to create a rose, the jagged piece barely fitting with the flower.  
On her left side, the sugarbush’s broken piece fell to create a water lily.   
Instead of vines connecting the flowers, like most designs, pedals of stained-glass pedals “fell” down her arm each creating a new flower with both sides continuing their respective patterns of roses and water lilies. Each new flower was grayer until the final flower on each side was just black.   
The black rose and water lily wrapped around Evangeline’s arm just above the elbow.  
“That’s awesome, can I see em?” Luna asked leaning on the table a bit.  
“N-no. I don’t really want to undress in front of a stranger.”  
“Oh, yeah. That makes sense,” Luna said, sitting back in her chair.   
A couple minutes of awkward silence passed as Evangeline looked over at the carousel only to see Grace going for another ride and giving her a thumbs up for some reason.  
“So are you like an artist or something like that?” Luna finally asked.  
“Yeah, how did you know?”  
“The colors of your outfit match really well.”  
“Well yours match too. You’ve even matching shades.”  
“I just kind of googled ‘shades of red’ and matched what looked good together. It’s easy to match since black always goes with red.”  
Evangeline let out a small chuckle.   
“You’d be surprised how many times they haven’t for some of my paintings.”  
“So you do physical paintings and not just digital ones?”  
“Yeah, why?”  
“I just think that’s really cool. Glad to know the hobby matches the person.”  
“Thanks...I think,” Evangeline felt flustered but didn’t understand why.   
“It was. I was calling you cool. I think physical paintings are cool. Like, digital art is still really cool and awesome and everyone who does it are super talented. I, personally, just like the way things look on canvas.”  
“I understand that. I do some things digitally, but I work better with canvas. Something about being able to touch it helps me.”  
“Oh, so you’re a tactile person?”  
“Very much so. It’s also why I took hand-written notes in college.”  
“So you can figure paintings out by touching them?”  
“It’s less figure them out and more plan ahead,” Evangeline said thinking “There’s something about feeling each brush stroke that just helps me guide myself through the painting.”  
“That kind of makes sense, using your hand as a guide.”  
“I wish I could do more digital art, I just haven’t gotten a feeling for it yet.”  
“I’m sure you’ll be great at it if you sit down and work with it.”  
“Thanks,” Evangeline said smiling. “I needed that.”  
“Do you ever do paintings of people?”  
“Well kind of. Not really any classical style ones like The Birth of Venus. The people I draw are either background or clothed or just their faces mostly. I thinking of doing one of children playing for a school.”  
“So you don’t ever really use people for models?”  
“Well I can’t really afford to pay someone to model for me, but then again I don’t really need a model like an art class where they’d stand there naked. Though I have used my friends for reference shots?”  
“Reference shots?”  
“Yeah, as like a reference for how a particular face-shape looks or as a reference to see proportions and how a body twists and turns during an action shot.”  
“So what do you for people with facial piercings?”  
“I actually don’t have a reference for that.”  
“You could take my picture.”  
“Really?”  
“Definitely.”  
Evangeline fumbled for her phone, excited to finally have a reference picture.  
“Okay, make a stern face.” Click.  
“Now make a big smile.” Click.  
“An angry face.” Click.  
“Be sad.” Click.  
“Now just make your resting face.” Click.  
“Thank you so much for the reference pictures! Now I can draw faces with piercings without spending days trying to do research.”  
“It’s no problem, especially with an artist with your taste,” Luna said with a big grin.  
“You’ve really made my day better!”  
“I’m glad I could.”  
“I think I’ve left Grace alone long enough though,” Evangeline said looking over to the carousel and Grace pouting at her.  
“It was awesome meeting you though!”  
“Likewise.”

Luna got up and motioned for a hug, Evangeline gladly obliged. 

“Bye, it was cool meeting you.”  
“You mind if I—”

Evangeline didn’t hear the last of it as she ran over to Grace to ride the carousel with her. 

“Sorry it took so long,” Evangeline apologized.  
“Don’t worry about it. It seems like you met someone cool.”  
“She was! She let me take reference pictures.”  
“She did, did she?”  
“Yeah, I was just as surprised.”  
“All right,” Grace said, shaking her head and followed it with a chuckle. “Choose your animal.”  
“The unicorn, naturally,” Evangeline said making her way to the unicorn and climbing on. 

Grace climbed onto the unicorn beside Evangeline. The two enjoyed the short ride. It reminded Evangeline of going to the fair with Grace when they were both little kids. When you’re little a carousel is one of those things that you look forward to. Looking over and seeing Grace smiling, put Evangeline’s heart and mind at ease. It was a nice, comfy feeling that she hadn’t felt in a very long time. This day was worth it just for this part of the trip.

After the carousel ride, Grace and Evangeline decided to get some ice cream at the sweet treats place in the food court. Grace got her usual superman ice cream and Evangeline went for chocolate chip cookie dough. 

“So how’s the whole art thing going?” Grace asked sitting down.  
“Well, not much at first but do you remember the old elementary school?”  
“Yeah, of course, it’s where we met.”  
“Well, Mr. Everett is now the principal—”  
“The art teacher?”  
“Yeah, him.”  
“How does an art teacher become a principal? Isn’t that reserved for coaches?”   
“I-I didn’t think to ask. But—”  
“Buuuuuuut?” Grace said curiously.  
“I was working at the library and he saw me sketching”  
“Annnnnd?” Grace said almost impatiently.  
“He asked me to paint a mural at our old school.”  
“Oh my god, are you going to do it?  
“I sent him the mock-up this morning and he okayed it.”  
“That’s amazing! Are you getting paid?”  
“Y-yes.”  
Grace leaned over the table and hugged Evangeline, nearling causing them both to drop their ice cream.  
“It’s your first paying gig! It’s the start of you as a big-time artist! That’s amazing!”  
“Thanks.”  
“Thanks? That’s it? C’mon Eva, you can be more excited than that.”  
“I’m still trying to process it, honestly.”   
“Well you know what it means right?”  
“What?” Evangeline asked curiously.  
“After you finish it, we have to celebrate!”  
“Definitely.” Evangeline said, nodding.  
“We’ll go to the bar and drinks will be on me!”  
“Can you afford that?”  
“I’m sure I can afford one night of drinking with you. This isn’t high school.” Grace said laughing.

After they finished their ice cream the two got up and hugged.

“Don’t make it years next time,” Grace said.  
“I won’t, I needed this more than I thought.”  
“Good. That’ll teach you not to ghost me for long.”  
“Besides, I don’t want the mural to take years.”  
“Yeah, that’s fair. See you soon...or at least when the mural is done.”  
“Definitely.” 

The two went their separate ways. Evangeline entered her apartment smiling like a goof. Today had been a good day. She saw her friend, they played minigolf, they had ice cream and they rode the carousel. It was a relaxing day. It was what she needed before she started her big project. It was going to take up all her free time now.

Evangeline changed into her sweatpants and T shirt to sleep in. She crawled into the bed and started replaying the day in her head to keep relaxing. Suddenly she shot up straight in her bed and covered her face with her hands, before they slowly dropped down.

“Luna was flirting with me.”  
“A beautiful girl was flirting with me and I missed it. That’s what the thumbs up from Grace was about, she was supporting me.”

Evangeline, fell back into her pillow, defeated.

“Just kill me now.”

“You are strong. You will win.”


	10. Mural

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evangeline finishes the mural she was hired to paint.

IX.  
Evangeline rolled up her sleeves as she looked at the blank white wall in front of her. She opened her bag and started gridding off the wall with her painter’s tape. She had sectioned her test painting off to match and her plan was to use it as a reference to scale it up on the wall. It was the first time she had tried something like this, but she thought it was her best bet for making sure the quality of the mural was high.

The wall was actually wider than she thought, but she figured she could compensate by extending the horizontal path in the painting to stretch further along the wall. The process of gridding everything off took a bit longer than expected so Evangeline only had a couple hours left to paint.

Evangeline wiped down the bottom left square just to make sure that it was clean. Mr. Everett said he had added primer before he left so it was good to go. Tonight her focus was the “beginning” of the mural. Her idea was to depict a journey. 

The bottom corner of the painting was a whirlpool. Mr. Everett had asked her to incorporate the playground so she decided to make each thing an “obstacle” on the journey. The merry-go-round become a whirlpool in the ocean. She left some white space in the middle of the waves leaving a pseudo-merry-go-round in the white space of the waves. It was easy enough on paper and on canvas, but she was untested on this large a scale.  
“Can you do it?”  
“He trusts you.”  
“He’ll be disappointed if it’s not good.”  
“You’ve never done this before.”  
“I don’t think you can do it.” 

Her hand was shaking as she picked up the brush.   
“Can’t paint like that.”  
“I bet you can’t even paint a straight line.”   
“It’s going to be terrible.”  
“You won’t be able to do it.”  
“You can’t do it.”  
“You can’t—”

Evangeline closed her eyes and shook her head. She wouldn’t let it win, not this time. She took a long deep breath in and exhaled. She continued to do this.  
“I went to school for this.”  
“I graduated.”  
“I can do this.”  
“Black and white art is my specialty.”  
“People believe in me.”

Evangeline let out one more long deep breath as she opened her eyes. Her hand had stopped shaking. Today, it had worked. She had about an hour left to get as much done as she could. It was time to start on the ocean and with one long stroke, she had finally started the mural. 

School would be starting back in a few days so she knew she needed to get all the work done she could before then. Leaving straight from the library to come to the school wasn’t the best schedule as far as sleep was concerned, but it was the only way to get this mural finished in a halfway decent timeframe. 

As the timer on her phone rang, she packed up her stuff. She was about halfway done with the waves portion of the mural. Hopefully, she would have more time tomorrow to paint. She wouldn’t have to waste time setting up and hopefully not have to fight herself. Evangeline figured that if she kept her current pace up, she could have it halfway done by the start of the school. 

Mr. Everett had set the doors to automatically lock when Evangeline left so that all she had to do was walk out, but that also meant that if she left anything it was stuck there. She held her bag and things close to her as she walked down to her car. She hadn’t seen the officer since that night, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t around. Mr. Everett had given Evangeline a decal for her car, which let security know that she was allowed there but that didn’t help her nerves at all. Tonight she didn’t have to deal with him though. It was a good night.

Evangeline was prepared the next night. She brought a bluetooth speaker and put on an audiobook while she painted. She loved listening to music or books while she painted. It helped keep her mind focused while also providing her with some ideas for paintings. Right now she was listening to a book about fey and demons. It was about how the human world was really just a battleground for the two. It discussed tragedies in history as being the sites of wars between the two sides. It was interesting. 

She had always been attracted to the escape of the fantasy genre. It allowed her to feel strong. Whenever a story had an otherworldly creature depressed or anxious as a side effect of a human form, it always gave her hope. Hope that somewhere she was normal. She knew she wasn’t in this realm, but maybe it was just the wrong realm. Maybe it was just not her place. Maybe she would be whisked away and become normal.

Though the thoughts were always accompanied by the sad thoughts of leaving her adoptive mother. Her mother had been there since the beginning. She had always been kind and compassionate. She understood Evangeline. She knew that the daughter she chose wasn’t normal, but that never deterred her love. Evangeline never felt that her mom loved her less because she wasn’t normal and that was consoling. Now she would have something to show to her mom.

Her mother had always made money by creating. She remembered helping her mother with the dresses she would sew. Evangeline always tried to become a seamstress just like her mom but it never clicked with her. Art did though. Her mother was always encouraging. She used to tell Evangeline that they were both talented in creating. Her mother’s bridal shop never made a lot of money, but it was enough to sustain on. Her mother always made sure she had what she needed for school and had food on the table.

Evangeline wondered if one day she would be able to wear one of her mother’s wedding dresses. She had worn dresses made by her mom, but none of them were ever as elegant or complex as the designs she reserved for brides-to-be. Maybe one day she could help design one of the dresses. It’d be fun to work with her mom on—

Crinkle.

Her brush hit the painter’s tape that she had set up. She didn’t realize how long she had been painting. The waves were now finished and so she moved onto the shore. The painter’s tape was there to define where her shoreline would be so she wouldn’t over-extend it. The shoreline was really almost straight cliff. She wanted to get the cliffs done before she drew the waves crashing upon it. She decided to turn the balance beam on the playground into a very think goat trail, which led up the mountain. 

As she started the cliffs, the timer on her phone rang. It was time to leave yet again. Her pace was still on track to finish about the time that she had expected. She was proud of her work so far. She hadn’t made any grievous errors yet. Nothing that couldn't be repainted or just required fixing a line or something small like that.

Evangeline spent the next four nights, toiling away at her mural. Very slowly, each piece of tape started being removed. It was a nice progress tracker for her as well. At the end of the week, she had gotten the entire bottom three squares of the grid done. Now she just needed to do the top half. 

Grace had been texting Evangeline almost every night for updates about the how the mural was progressing. It was getting slightly annoying but she appreciated her friend’s excitement. Evangeline didn’t exactly realize it, but it was helping her stay motivated and focused as well. A text popped up as she leaving for the weekend.  
“How’s it going?”   
“It’s going good so far.”  
“See, I knew you could do it.”  
“It’s only halfway there.”  
“We’re gonna celebrate afterwards.”  
“If it gets done.”  
“WHEN it gets done.”  
“That’s not a guarantee.”  
“Yes it is.”  
“It’s surrounded by children every day.”  
“You’ll make it.”  
“Fine.”  
“Told ya.”

Evangeline could have painted one more night for more progress, but she wanted to be completely sure that the paint would dry before the school started back on Monday. It was time for the school year and that meant that her work days would be relegated to Fridays and Saturdays to finish the mural. With it halfway finished, Evangeline told Mr. Everett that it could probably be completed in the next couple of months. He wanted it done in time for the budget, which had to be passed by the first of October. He was hoping the mural would end up getting them the playground renovations.

As the school updated its social media and website with progress reports of the mural, so did patrons of the library. It felt like every person who she checked out asked her about the mural and what it was going to look like. She wanted to keep it a surprise so she told everyone the exact same thing.

“It’s in black and white, but that’s all I’m allowed to tell before it’s done.”

It was sufficient enough for most patrons, but that didn’t stop the regulars from asking about it every day. It was becoming a bit of a hassle and a lot more attention than she ever wanted. Evangeline asked if she could be transferred to the back where she would organize the vault and get returned books ready to be stocked. She wanted to be away from the people. Shelia approved it.

Her new position was different and quiet but endlessly boring. It allowed her to catch up on her audio books or listen to music more, but that was about it. It was just rows and rows of books. Maybe it’d make a good sketch for another day, another time. She was grateful for this time behind the scenes though. It not only got her away from all the people, but also allowed her to gameplan for the mural. She spent the time figuring out what she brushes she might want to use, whether she needed new supplies, how best to enlarge certain aspects of the picture, etc.

The rest of the week went by quite slowly, as every day had been since starting the mural. Having to wait to work on a piece just killed Evangeline. With her sketchbook and easel in her apartment, she just had to wait until she was free. Now she had to wait days. She couldn’t just start when her creativity hit. It felt like torture some days.

Tonight, however, she finally got to look at her piece. She finally got to work on it. She finally got to feel the brush against the wall. She finally got to peel off more of that tape. Tonight, Evangeline was able to do what she loved; paint.

She took off the protective sheet covering her portion of the wall and gazed at her work so far. It looked untouched. It seemed to have survived the first week of school unscathed. She ran her hand along the paint at the bottom to check and make sure it was all completely dry and that no one had tried to paint anything. She was satisfied that her mural had been kept well and put her earbuds in to start working.

The mural was one big path so today, Evangeline started at the top right with the steps up to the slide. Right after the monkey bars were what she always called the “floating steps.” They were basically just lunchroom seats that were suspended in the air that you needed to climb. Then after that were the normal steps to the slide. For this, she decided to make these steps essentially rock pillars with gaps between them. 

It looked a little cliche but she enjoyed the look of it. She needed to figure out the spacing for the pillars. It was supposed to look dangerous but doable so they couldn’t be too close or too far. Evangeline measured and started painting. 

“I wonder if the kids will like it. How many kids do I include in the picture? Will I have to constantly retouch it? I hope this helps out Mr. Everett. Maybe people will stop bothering me when it’s done. I wish I had more time to work on it. This weekend only thing isn’t great. I should finish on time though. Am I going to have to present it?”

Crinkle.

Evangeline’s mind came to a screeching halt at the sound of the tape crinkling. That wasn’t right. She should still have a couple centimeters to the tape. She measured and remeasured. She was so sure of her positioning, but she was wrong. The edge of the final pillar was right up against the tape instead of a couple centimeters away.   
“How did this happen?”  
“How could I mess up?”  
“I know I was right.”  
“I—”

She stared at the mural and she stared. Trying to realize her mistake, when it hit her. The spacing between the second and third pillar was a little off. She had put too much space between the two.

Rasp.

Her brush hit the paper she had laid down on the floor to protect the floor from paint.  
“How could I mess up?”  
“I measured twice.”  
“I messed up.”  
“It’s all my fault.”  
“I’ve ruined it.”  
“I ruined my first gig.”  
“No one will ever want to hire me.”  
“I’ve disappointed everyone.”

Evangeline slowly shut down. First, the strength in her legs waned, forcing her to sit down against the side wall. With her knees against her chest, she felt the strength leave the arms that she had wrapped around herself. Her neck suddenly grew very tired and her head dropped onto her knees. 

She closed her eyes. She could feel her course jeans against her forehead. That feeling kept her tethered to where she was. The world around her was spinning, she felt nauseous and completely out of control of the situation. It was like she wasn’t in her body. Like she was watching a movie and getting motion sickness. She rubbed her head against her jeans just to feel. Just to know that this was HER body and that SHE was controlling it. 

Evangeline hated this. She hated the mural. She hated the job. She hated brushes. She hated paint. Most of all, she hated herself.  
“This wouldn’t have happened if I were normal.”

Time was not something that she had any grasp of. Every second felt like an eternity. She needed to get a grip, but of what she didn’t know. She wanted something, anything, tangible to bring her back, but she had nothing. She had to think of something.  
“How can I fix it?”  
“Can it be saved?”

Evangeline asked herself, hoping that an answer would be her solution as well. However, it she couldn’t think straight. She needed clarity and she wasn’t getting any. The fog of the world masking her answer.   
“Think!”  
“I messed up my measurements.”  
“Can I make it up somewhere else?”

She tried to lean her back, looking like a drunk doing so. She still didn’t feel like she had full motor control back. She still felt like she wasn’t piloting her body. Her head leaned to the side, her neck unable to hold it up straight anymore. Her eyes faced the stairs to the second floor of the building. And she just stared. Blank and unmoving, she stared. Nothing registered. Not color, not the stairs, not the building. She knew she was looking at something, but all her brain registered was nothing. 

“Stairs. Stairs. Stairs. THE STAIRS!” Evangeline shouted. “That’s it. I’ll just put less stairs up to the top and compensate that way. It’ll just make that section a little smaller, but I can still make it work.”

And make it work she was going to do. Her legs wobbled a little as she started to stand up. She had to support herself on the wall, but her strength was slowly coming back. With this plan she had nothing to worry about. A relief to her predicament. She picked up her brush and started back where she left off. Since she didn’t have work tomorrow, she decided to stay past her timer and finish the square. Now there were only two left. 

Evangeline looked at the time as she got out of the shower. She still had an hour to get ready, ample time. She started to dry her hair as she figured out her wear for the reveal. She decided on a black a-line dress, black nail polish and black lipstick. It was artist code to where black to an opening after all. She put her hair into a bun, put on a pair of black wedges, got her things and left.

The parking lot of the school was pretty much filled when she arrived. She wasn’t expecting this many people for the reveal of her mural. I mean, she had been bothered by everyone at the library, but she didn’t figure they would all show up.   
Even though it was a short walk to the door, it felt like forever. Everyone knew she had painted the mural and it felt like every person had to comment.  
“I can’t wait to see it.”  
“Was it difficult painting it?”  
“How long did it take?”  
“How much did they pay you?”

Evangeline managed to push her way through the crowd and get to the doors. Luckily for her, the mural was just a straight shot from the doors. Mr. Everett was waiting in front of the mural for her.  
“Are you ready for your event?”  
“A little nervous, but I think I am.”  
“You’ll do fine.”

Mr. Everett cleared his throat.  
“Everyone, could you please find a place to sit or stand. We’ll be beginning the presentation now.”  
He paused for a few moments to let the crowd adjust.  
“The playground has always been an important part of our school. It’s where our kids play and stay active and stay healthy. You can ask any of the younger kids here and recess is usually their answer for their favorite class. So I decided that we needed to honor the school and the playground—”

As Mr. Everett went on with the introduction, Evangeline looked into the crowd. Sitting in front of her was about 50 primary school kids who obviously just wanted to see the painting. Behind them were either their parents or sporadic adults. The staff of the library and Julius were lining the side wall. They were all giving her a thumbs out. On the other side of the wall, Evangeline could see a lone thumbs up sticking out amongst the adults. She knew that had to be Grace, who didn’t show up to get close enough to see.

“And so I chose a graduate of this school, Evangeline,” Mr. Everett said motioning to her.

The crowd started clapping. It was almost surreal to see all these people clapping. It hadn’t set it that they were clapping for her. What did set in, however, was how many people there were and how loud everything suddenly was. Evangeline’s palms started to sweat as she shyly waved hello to the audience.

“Evangeline sent me a sketch of the piece and I loved it. I think it really exemplifies what it’s like to be a Campton Knight. We know the journey through school can be tough, but our students are always up to the task. They leave here prepared for secondary school and life to come. So without further adieu…”

He walked back to the sheet covering the wall and motioned for Evangeline to do the same. They both grabbed the thin fabric and pulled it down. The “oohs” and “aahs” and clapping of the adult crowd were drowned out by the very vocal children at the front.  
“That looks cool!”  
“Is that me?”  
“Wow.”  
“Did you paint all of that?”

Evangeline smiled at all the dialogue from the young ones in the front. 

“Miss Evangeline, would you like to take us through the mural?” Mr. Everett asked.

“I uh—”  
The hallway seemed so long suddenly. There felt there were a lot more people. Her face felt flush and clammy at the same time. She knew what was happening but she wanted to fight it.  
“This is my time,” she thought to herself. “And my piece that I’m proud of.”

She took a deep breath.

“Yes, um, well it was actually based off a game we used to play when I was here. I don’t know if any of you still do it, but we would start at the merry-go-round and try to make it to the top of the slide without touching the ground.”

“I’ve done that!” shouted one student followed by another and another.

“I have too!” Evangeline replied. “So I mixed that idea with the idea of a knight’s journey. You know in stories, knights have very hard, heroic journeys. These journeys separate the regular knights from the chosen knights and we’re all Campton Knights so we’re chosen knights. Plus school and life can be pretty tough.”

“Yep!” said one of the children, who was immediately hushed by his mother.

“So I used the merry-go-round as a whirlpool and the start of the journey,” Evangeline said, waving her hand to the bottom left of the mural. “After landing getting through the whirlpool adventurers would land at the shore and have to navigate this very narrow, rocky path. If a knight doesn’t keep their balance they fall into a pit.”  
“Ooooh” could be heard from the captive audience in the front.

“After that comes the stalactites that knights have to use to get across the ravivine. Lucky for these knights that the stalactites grew down in such a way they act like—”

“Monkey bars!” shouted a group of the children.

“That’s right! When the knights land on solid rock, they think the adventure is over until the path leads to the floating pillars. They have to get across these to get to the end, just like the floating steps before the slide. And then once they get to the other side, they have a few easy steps up the rock mountain to the—”

“Slide!” every kid in the room shouted.

Evangeline nodded her head. “But at the top of the slide is Excalibur, given only to the most noble and brave knights. Good thing we’re all Campton Knights so that always applies to us. Once you get the sword, you can slide down the side of the mountain to safety, your journey complete.”

“What about the part over there?” One of the students asked pointing to the top right portion of the mural which looked like sheer cliff.

“This is the cliff of doom,” Evangeline said. “If very brave knights want to try, they can climb up the cliff to get to Excalibur. It’s based off the rock wall on the side of the slide.”

The black and white mural showed a child in the middle of completing every stage of the journey. At the end, it showed a child holding a sword in the air, their face still visible but the rest of the child in knight's armor that was a copy of the Campton Knights logo. It took up almost the entire wall and flowed from bottom left to top right. 

“Any questions?”

“Did you paint those too?” A child asked pointing at Evangeline’s tattoos. The child was quickly reprimanded by its father.

“No. I paid someone to paint these on me, but I did design them myself.”

Somehow her tattoos gained a bigger “ooh” from the kids than the mural. She wasn’t complaining though, it wasn’t just the kids who thought her tattoos were cool. When no one else raised their hand for a question, Evangeline bowed.

“Thank you for attending and thank you Mr. Everett for letting me paint this.”  
“Thank you for doing such a wonderful job for the community.”

The applause picked up again. As Evangeline realized it was truly for her and her art, emotion welled inside her. It was pride. Pride in her work. Pride in herself as an artist. Pride in the fact that she got it done with two weeks to spare before the budget. Pride in her first paying gig. It was pride in everything. This fleeting emotion that always seemed unobtainable due to her not being normal. 

It was a quaint feeling. One that was immediately followed up by something less than fun. As the applause lessened and the crowd dispersed, people naturally lined up and trinkled in to talk to Evangeline about her mural.  
“It looks great.”  
“Thanks!”  
“How long did it take?”  
“A couple months.”  
“I just wanted to say that my kids love it.”  
“Thank you.”

It was like a whirlwind of people. Evangeline felt like she might snap her neck from whiplash as she kept having to turn it to speak to everyone coming up. She thought the public speaking was hard, but this was much harder. She clasped her hands together in front of her and squeezed, trying to stop from zoning out. The crowd was suddenly more overwhelming when everyone was trying to talk to her.  
“Are you still taking commissions?”  
“Not for a little while.”  
“Why did you choose black and white?”  
“It’s what I’m comfortable with.”  
“How long did it take to come up with the idea?”  
“Awhile.”  
“Is this your first mural.”  
“Yes.”

Evangeline suddenly felt someone grab her wrist. She instinctively pulled back, but the person didn’t let go. She looked up to see Grace, smiling at her.

“You said we’d celebrate after, it’s after now so let’s go!” Grace said pulling Evangeline.  
“I-I don’t know if that’s a great idea right now,” Evangeline replied.  
“Do you really want to stay here, or do you want to come with me?”  
“Well, I want to get away bu—”  
“That settles it you’re coming with me! We’re going to go relax and help you out. You deserve it.” She said pulling Evangeline with her.

Evangeline let Grace lead her out the door. She was nervous. She really just wanted to go home, but Grace was hellbent on going with her. The last thing she wanted was more people bothering her. She needed to prepare herself.

“You are strong. You will win.”


	11. Drunk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The post job completion celebration is fun but interrupted by a certain someone.

X.

Evangeline was flanked by Grace in a bar at the outskirts of Campton. It was the bar that was cool to come to when Evangeline was in university. It meant being away from your parents. Now it just kind of looked like a dive bar. She didn’t remember it being nearly this run-down. 

“It looked better when you didn’t need an ID to get alcohol,” Grace said, smiling.  
“I guess you’re right. Put things into perspective.”  
“It does. Feels weird to be bringing you here.”  
“I did introduce you to this place, didn’t I?”  
“Yep.”  
“That was the first time you got drunk too, wasn’t it?”  
“Embarrassingly so.”  
“Well how was I supposed to know your limit was less than mine?”  
“Because I hadn’t drank before.”  
“That’s...fair. It was still a fun night.”  
“Yeah. It was. Wouldn’t trade it for the world.” Grace said with a wide smile. “Soooo...first round on me?”  
“Definitely.”

Grace was definitely dressed for a night at the bar and not an art unveiling. She had on 3 or 4 inch royal blue ankle-strap heels with black tights, a royal blue miniskirt with a black zipper down the front, a black crop top and royal blue crop jacket. She had on carolina blue lipstick and winged eyeliner with the tips highlighted with carolina blue eye shadow.  
“I’ll go get some drinks, what do you want?”  
“Surprise me.”  
“Okay.”

Evangeline noticed the eyes of the men in the bar follow Grace as she walked to the bar. She watched to make sure that none of the people attached to the eyes tried anything with her friend. Grace brought back a couple drinks to the table.  
“I got some screwdrivers, hope that’s okay.”  
“Yeah.”

The two talked and drank. They reminiscenced about elementary school stories. Pushing people off the balance beam, that one time Evangeline accidentally pushed a kid off the top of the slide, the time that Grace fell and broke her arm on the monkey bars. It was a different time then. They were young and innocent and most importantly didn’t have to pay bills.

About four drinks into it, Evangeline started to feel her buzz going. It had definitely been a while since she had drank and she could feel it, but it wasn’t a bad feeling. It was like a good version of that out-of-body feeling when she was having an attack. She smiled as she stared at her friend, flirting with the guys that had come to the table to flirt with her.

It was a nice change of pace from their high school years where Evangeline would drag her to parties and force her to stand around while Evangeline flirted with people. Evangeline hated every second of that in high school, but she figured it was the best way to rid herself of her anxiety. If only it would have worked that way. Now she was the one being brought along. Evangeline chuckled as Grace shooed away the men.

“Who ever would have thought?”  
“What do you mean?” Grace asked.  
“Just a couple years ago, do you think either of us would have expected this?”  
“What is this?”  
“You dragging me to a bar. Me getting an actually paying art gig. Us friends again.”  
“Well, we never weren’t friends.”  
“Yeah, but I sure made it seem different.”  
“You were going through things.”  
“I’m still going through things.”   
“But not right now.”  
Evangeline smiled. “Yeah, not right now.”  
“Right now you’re with your friend having a good time after having a crowd applaud your first ever mural.”  
“I am.”  
“And you’re smiling.”  
“I am.”  
“So.”  
“So?”  
“So I’m going to get us some more drinks and we’re going to continue to celebrate because you deserve it.”  
“Thanks.”  
“I wouldn’t be your best friend if I didn’t make sure you had fun.”  
“Love ya girl.”  
“No, no, no, no. We are still drinking. You don’t get to say that until you’re drunk and I’m tucking you in bed.”  
“But—”  
“No buts, I’m not ruining my chance at paying you back for all the times you tucked me and I told you that...but love ya too.”  
Grace’s walk to the bar was still confident, she didn’t seem buzzed. Evangeline had no idea how much more she could drink. She was surprised that she wasn’t slurring yet, but she was sure she would be after another drink or two. 

As Evangeline looked up, she realized that Grace was bringing someone back to the table. This woman was wearing black knee-high lace up and buckle combat boots and crimson colored tights. Her black pleather above-the-knee skirt had three buckles down the front with straps buckled to rings all around the skirt almost making a pentagram that spanned the skirt. She wore a black pleather buckle corset and a crimson pleather jacket. She had black fingerless gloves with crimson painted nails. Her lips were black, flanked on the bottom by burgundy snake bites and she wore a burgundy nose ring. Her eyes were a panda smudge that faded from black to vermillion as the smudge went around her eye. Her black hair was in a rocker style-pompadour with streaks of carmine through it. 

“Look who I found” Grace said with a devilish grin.  
“It’s a pleasure to see you again,” the girl said with a smile, showing off her silver smiley piercing.  
“L-likewise” Evangeline said returning the smile. 

Evangeline knew that she had met the girl before. She was the one from the mall. Her name, however, completely escaped Evangeline for the moment. It felt like it was on the tip of her tongue, but it was ever fleeting. It was kind of like the eye floaters where when you try and look at them directly, they just completely switch course out of your vision again.

“What are you doing here Luna?” Grace asked   
“I’m just out here hoping Pinke comes by.”  
“Who’s Pinkie?” Evangeline and Grace asked in unison.  
“It’s this girl,” Evangeline felt a small pit when Luna said that for some reason.  
“She wears pink heart sunglasses, a pink leather jacket and rides a motorcycle. No one really knows her real name.”  
“So why do you hope she shows up?” Evangeline asked.  
“Because whenever she does, it really becomes a party. People have told me she shows up, buys the entire bar like four or five rounds of drinks and then leaves with someone.”  
“Where does she take them?”  
“New Arcadia.”  
“Why?”  
“She’s supposedly from there. No one has ever come back so it’s probably hella awesome down there.”  
“So are you hoping she takes you away?” Evangeline asked. Grace tried to hide her smile when she asked that question.  
“Naw. I can’t afford to just show up in another city without a job lined up.”  
“I don’t think any of us could,” Grace chimed in.  
“But...free drinks are free drinks and I’m all for that.”  
“Agreed,” the two friends again answered in unison.  
“Soooo why are you ladies here?”  
“We’re celebrating her big day.”  
“Oh?”  
“Yup. Evangeline got paid to paint, right?”  
“Y-y-yeah.”  
“Well congratulations.”  
“Thanksh.”

The two giggled.

“What?”  
“Oooh, nothing” Grace said.  
“So what did you paint.”  
“A mural.”  
“Of what?”  
“Anadvture.”  
“What kind of adventure?”  
“Kidsh advture.”  
“Care to explain.”  
“SobasicallyitwashthishthingbashedoffKingArthurandchtuffandI—”  
“Evangeline, it’s okay to breathe during a sentence,” Grace said nudging her friend.   
“It’s fine, I enjoy hearing people talk about what they love.”

Evangeline stuck her tongue out at Grace and Grace returned the favor. The woman chuckled at their antics.

“I’m going to get another drink, do you need anything Luna?”  
“Just a vodka cran will be fine, thanks.”  
“What about me?”  
“You’re good for now,” Grace said.  
“No way, I-I-I not even buzzed. ’m totally shober...totally sh-sober.”  
“Mhmm” Grace said, her voice oozing with sarcasm.

Evangeline stuck her tongue out at her friend again as she walked away.  
“That’s kind of cute,” Luna said with another chuckle.  
“W-w-what is?” Evangeline said, feeling her face turn flush. She didn’t know if it was from the alcohol or what Luna said.  
“The way you two act. You’re kind of like little kids.”  
“Well sh’s my besht friend.”  
“Oh, so you two are best friends.”  
“Yup.” Evangeline said nodding. “Been that way sh-since primary school.”  
“It’s always nice to have a friend like that.”  
“It is.”  
“Speaking of cute things, your outfit tonight is great as usual.”  
“Thanksh. Wore it to thereveal.”  
“Well I’m sure you stunned everyone.”  
Evangeline could feel the flush coming back.  
“Your outfit i’s good too. Looksh real uh”  
“Sexy?”  
“I wash gonna say biker but that worksh too.”  
“Well that is the look I was going for.”  
“It looksh good on ya.”  
“Why thank you.”  
“Sho ‘bout the mall…”

Evangeline let out a loud cackle then immediately covered her mouth. It was fine, the bar wasn’t concerned with her but the guy that Grace had just poured his drink all over. Grace was furious, nearly stomping over. The bartender was on the phone and the people at the bar were closing in around him, making sure he couldn’t leave. Evangeline couldn’t wait to hear this story.

“Can you believe that guy?”  
“What happened?”  
“I think he tried to drug me!” Grace pretty much shouted, making sure the entire bar could hear her to shame the man. “I caught him with his finger in my drink.”  
“Oh let’s fuck him up,” Luna said cracking her knuckles.  
“Hell yeah!” Evangeline said, slamming her hands on the table.  
“No, it’s fine. They’re calling the police on him and he’s being banned from the bar. Besides, we still have celebrating to do.”  
“Shorry I din’t see it, I was distracted.”   
“Yeah, we were talking.”  
“It’s fine. I’m just disappointed. He talked and I thought he was cute so I decided to flirt with him. I thought I might have somewhere to go tonight after I dropped Evangeline off. Instead this ASSHOLE—” Grace shouted again, eyeing the man with fury that would make the fires of Hell seem cold “tried to drug me.”  
“So you were going to sleep with...him?” Luna asked confused.  
“MAYBE. He had a decent chance. I thought he was cute and he seemed nice but like firm, if you know what I mean.”  
They both nodded.  
“Then HE TRIED TO DRUG ME”  
“I get it. You can stop fucking yelling at me, you bitch.”

The bar went quiet. You could hear a pin drop.

“What. THE FUCK. Did you just say?”  
“I said you’re a BITCH” the man shouted back. “You don’t have to keep being an asshole about it.”  
“ME?!? AN ASSHOLE?” Grace laughed but it was not funny. It was a sadistic laugh. It dripped with malice, hate, fury and contempt.   
“I’m not the one who tried to drug someone.” Grace’s voice was completely calm. The men at the bar moved away from the man, the bartender could be heard telling the police to hurry.

The man finally looked back at Grace when he felt those daggers her eyes were throwing. As he made eye contact, he knew he had fucked up. You could see it in his eyes. He was paralyzed. He couldn’t speak, he couldn’t move. He could only grip the drink in his hand. As Evangeline looked at the man, his face seemed familiar before it hit her. She flashed back to an officer knocking on the window of her car.

“He tried to drug me, naturally this is just self defense.” Grace’s calm voice held back the absolute wrath this man was about to endure. Each step Grace took towards him felt like it simultaneously completely the floor under her and the people in front of her but ignited the air of the bar with a roaring flame. They say Hell hath no fury like a woman scorn, but for what Grace was bringing, even the devil would flee. 

Whomp.  
Fa-thud.

The man hit the floor and Grace didn’t stop. No one near the bar was going to stop her either.

“I think she’s got this,” Evangeline said.  
“You’re right...also, your speech is—”  
“Nothing to sober you up like adrenaline.”  
“That’s true.”   
“So, about the mall…”  
“Yes?”  
“Were you like...flirting...with me?”  
“Yes.”  
“Okay, just making sure. I figured that out later.”  
“Hopefully that won’t happen again.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“N-nothing.” Luna said, her voice giving hints of exhaustion. “You know you already have like a ton of pictures of me in your phone.”  
“I do. They’re awesome reference material.”  
“Well then you have perfect pictures to choose from for an ID pic of me in your phone.”  
“Yeah I do, let me find your contact info…”  
Evangeline looked through her phone.  
“I didn’t get—”  
“You didn’t get my number at the mall.”  
Evangeline just embarrassingly handed her phone over Luna.  
“Here you go.”

The sounds of Grace hitting the man started to sound a bit wetter. The other men and women at the bar were now trying to drag Grace off of him. The bartender helped wash Grace’s hands off and gave her some ice to put on her knuckles. Evangeline couldn’t see the man’s face on the ground but that was probably for the better. A long groan escaped the man so she knew he was still alive. Grace joined the crew back at the table.

“Sorry, I had business to take care of.”  
“It’s fine, we understand,” Evangeline said. “Your hand okay”  
“It’s in much better shape than his face”  
“Worth it?”  
“Oh fuck yes” Grace said taking in a deep breathe. “Anyways, what brings you out here Luna?”

The bartender brought a round of shots to the table.  
“Sorry for the trouble he caused. These are on the house. The cops should be here soon to get him and also take your statement. Don’t worry, we all know it was self-defense.”  
“Thank you.” Grace said with a smile. This one emanating joy and legitimate kindness.  
“Now let’s celebrate” Luna said picking up a shot. 

As the three toasted, a motorcycle pulled up in the parking lot. She had a sucker in her mouth and her pink heart sunglasses down. She smiled to herself as she adjusted her pink jacket.  
“Let’s see if we can find someone interesting tonight.”


End file.
